


Slumber

by CandyBambi



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Alternate Universe - Vampire, Anal Sex, Angst, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Blow Jobs, Character Development, Communication, Consensual, Crossdressing Kink, Dark, Drama, Drowning, Everyone Has Issues, Everyone Needs A Hug, Fluff, Heavy Angst, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, Immortality, Kinda Kinky, Love, M/M, Mentions of Drowning, Mild Blood, Mild Gore, Personal Growth, Romance, Sexual Content, Smut, Soul-Searching, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Soulmates
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-14
Updated: 2017-04-22
Packaged: 2018-09-17 13:37:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 24,998
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9327134
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CandyBambi/pseuds/CandyBambi
Summary: Yuuri was just an ordinary person--barely an adult-- who sometimes can't sleep thanks to crippling anxiety. He takes a walk on a tireless night, but never expected that he’d accidentally drug a vampire in the middle of the night because of his melatonin packed blood. Now, the stranger, who names himself Victor, insists that he and Yuuri become lovers and consummate their marriage for they are meant to be. Yuuri has no idea how to deal with this dilemma and isn't sure if he wants to.





	1. Melatonin

**Author's Note:**

> Originally this started off a fun idea, before it became a legit story in my head. Somehow I can't get sexy vampire Victor out of my head, I mostly think it's cause he would be the most adorable vampire that doesn't want to feed. And Yuuri being Yuuri, would be unsure how to deal with it. Got lots of plans for this monster of a story.

Winter was a time where people huddled inside their homes, hidden away from the dark, snowy climate. Certain animals thrived in winter. While Victor never labeled himself an animal, he enjoyed the cold weather; likely due to his cold body temperature. As a child he was often sickly and enjoyed the heat; that had been a long time. A very long time ago. Even as he breathed out, no visible warmth escaped. It was due to this loss of his human self he enjoyed watching people on the streets, seeing their breath escape in large clouds. So far he had taken a pint of blood from passing strangers, always careful to take a little before healing the punctures on their wrist and erasing their memory. Most of his kind would stalk a person of no social standing and consume them entirely, but Victor wasn't one for violent and barbaric behaviours. Some would say he was prudish, but he preferred humanitarian despite the irony.

Despite the misconception, his kind was once known as a gentle species that carefully drank from willing humans. It was after Christ that this had changed and forced his kind to become a shadowed version of their ancestors. Perhaps it was because he was old, but Victor missed those days when things had been carefree for his kind. Perhaps it was because he missed his lover, he was thankful he had been lucky for his coffin to have remained untouched when he slept for roughly a thousand years. After a few hundred years, Victor had been able to disguise and integrate himself with humans. Where his kind had once been the sophisticated and gentle, his race was now known as bloodthirsty creatures that mauls anything with a heartbeat. It broke his heart seeing his kind in such a tattered state.

The streets were relatively barren of people, it was fairly late, but Victor needed one last human until he was ready to move to the next city. As if on cue, a human with a blue jacket and scarf was walking down the street, carrying a light grocery bag. As soon the human passes him, he began to follow, focusing his attention to the human’s back  _ “Hold still.”  _ he commanded, being forceful with his control to make this easier for both of them.

The human stopped their movement and Victor proceeded to face them, making sure they were charmed completely before he began to harvest blood. It was an Asian man this time, one with earthy eyes and a strongly sculpted face. Fear and anxiety stiffened the human, and Victor paused to allow his guilt arise, he had no strength to fight back his emotions. Cornering this man gave him no pleasure, it made him understand all too well how he was the horrible monster for forcing humans to submit to him. 

Gently, he took the wrist of the stranger before sliding his enlarged teeth into their veins, tasting warm fluid on his tongue, a sweet light taste. The human flinched and took a sharp breath, Victor paused to increase his pheromones, hoping to lessen the pain and panic this person was experiencing. “I'm sorry, I promise this won't take long. Just relax.” He whispered, taking no pleasure from the fear in their eyes and attempted to comfort this scared human as much as he could offer. Using his ability to charm humans forced them into submission, it wasn't his favored approach, but it was the only option with the least amount hysteria. With a few more gulps of sweet ambrosia, Victor was satisfied, feeling warmth return in his cheeks and stomach; he would be able to avoid feeding for a good while. Slowly, he extended his tongue to massage the punctures so his saliva healed the skin.

Victor gave a final kiss to their wrist as a final gesture of thanks and apology for forcing them to give blood. Slowly, his hands slid from the wrist to their eyes, closing them so he could erase this moment from memory while they were still under his influence. Once he did so, Victor whispered a final command “Once I'm out of sight, I want you to wake up and continue with the rest of your day, forgetting our interactions..”

With a docile nod from the human, Victor took his leave, ready to exit from the streets, only to have a wave of fatigue overcome his head. He was forced to fall on his knees on the cold, hard pavement of the sidewalk, salt digging into his cheek. Despite his attempts to get up, his legs and arms refused to move before his vision blurred and eyes dragged closed.

* * *

 

Under his sheets, Yuuri focused on relaxing himself. His body was tired and he was ready to embrace with sleep, only for his anxiety to get in the way of that possibility. Tomorrow was just another day in life, where he would wake up and go to out to meet with friends and return to sleep. It shouldn't have been this hard to sleep, there was no reason to feel anxious.

Yuuri finally slipped out of bed, opening the drawer of his nightstand, only to find an empty bottle of melatonin. He debated whether he wanted to go outside, where it was cold and dark, or continue his weak attempt to sleep. Knowing from his previous experiences, Yuuri began to dress for the weather; sweatpants, a sweater, coats, boots, and a scarf his sister had sent to him from Japan.

“Twenty minutes in the cold in exchange for sleep is better than no sleep.” Yuuri told himself, not wanting to have to feel the weariness a sleepless day would carry. Yuuri refused to allow himself to drag his productiveness down because he was too stubborn get some Melatonin. As Yuuri left his apartment, he took the time to revel in the quiet, the crunch of fresh snow and his breath remained as the only noise when he headed down to the convenience store. It was familiar to him; Hasetsu was his hometown in Japan, where cold weather persisted in the spring, it was peacefully quiet.

Yuuri was lucky the store was open till two in the morning with a shelf that contained various sleep inducers, he had no idea that moving would take this large of a toll on his sleeping habits. Once he had purchased his new bottle of drugs, Yuuri was off to returning to his bed, hoping this was his last time needing sleep inducers once his exams ended. The streets were unpopulated, likely due to weather, and it being the day after New Years. At least his trip had been peaceful, usually around this time of night there would be a few drunks who would never fail to make him feel uncomfortable. Once he was almost home, he took the melatonin so he would effectively fall asleep immediately.

Yuuri took a left, taking a shortcut home now that he knew the roads would be quiet. The path he was taking was filled with closed brand named shops that always had people around, except for holidays. When Yuuri passes a fairly dark alley, he felt the control of his legs had been taken from him. Paused on the salted cement, Yuuri tried to regain the feeling of legs, panic sunk in, his palms became sweaty and his heart threatened to explode. Something approached, and Yuuri’s heart lurched, thinking that somehow he had been drugged, and was about to be killed by a psychopath. Yuuri tried to think of ways to escape. Screaming was an option but his anxiety has forced his throat closed. He was going to die.

Yuuri was not a religious person, he found himself praying to live that night. He was angry at himself for going out at night. Of course this would happen, of course he was going to die because he stupidly went out to get melatonin. The stranger touched the back of his wrist, and Yuuri was surprised with a beautiful looking man. At first glance, the silver hair made him seem old, but his young face suggested otherwise with its sharp jaw. Hair was cut to be short in the back, the front parted to the right in the form of bangs. But this was no time to admire the attractiveness of his soon to be murderer. 

With struggle he tried fight this hold on his body, only being able to make his body tense in anxiety, which wasn't good enough when his life was clearly out of line. The silver man glanced at his face, looking troubled at Yuuri. Under these circumstances, shouldn't he have been the one troubled the most?

A sharp pain slid into his wrist and Yuuri witnessed the man’s fangs penetrate his skin, forcing the blood to spill. Pain stretched to his arms, Yuuri took a shaky breath and tears had threatened to escape. The stranger withdrew to look up to Yuuri “I'm sorry, I promise this won't take long. Just relax.” Yuuri was not assured by such words. His thumb gently drew circled above his punctured wrist before Yuuri felt his pain begin to dull and his mind begin to blur. His attacker continued to bite into his flesh, drinking away his life.  _ “I'm going to die from a blood drinking freak.”  _ Yuuri thought. 

The man finished before licking his wrist clean before he pressed a chaste kiss. Yuuri was close to screaming before his sight was covered by a bitingly cold hand. It made sense, the stranger was barely wearing the appropriate garments for winter, of course his hand was chilled. Thinking back now, Yuuri couldn't recall why he was afraid, trying to pull back on what happened while he was on his way home. “Once I'm out of sight, I want you to wake up and continue with the rest of your day, forgetting our interactions and to take care of yourself.” A fluid voice commanded, something Yuuri couldn't help but nod to. Yuuri never noticed the withdrawing of the hand, he had closed his eyes and had fallen asleep for one moment before he jerked awake. 

Yuuri swore something had happened before, but all he could recall was the faint scent of something floral, not the overpowering smell of cheap perfume, but something light and sweet. He told himself he was so tired that he ended up daydreaming in the middle of the streets. He adjusted is grip on his bag of melatonin and moved forward to his home, checking his texts from his friend, Phichit, only to unexpectedly trip and crash into the sidewalk. Reeling in from his scraped palms, he looked behind him to see what he had tripped on. 

A person collapsed on the ground, clearly underdressed for the winter. Skittishly, he approached the person, ignoring the burn on his hands to check on the person, it seemed they were alive. Eventually Yuuri realized this person was fast asleep. This person was not homeless, Yuuri could deduce that much. Well groomed appearance with an Armani suit, a clear indication that this person was well off. Yuuri pursed his lips together in contemplation. Calling the police would be a possible decision, but that might cause more trouble for the stranger, and pissing off someone high in power was not something Yuuri wanted to deal with in his stressful life. Instead, he settled with taking the person to his house so the next morning they would awaken safely, it was better this way; no one would take advantage of this stranger.

Carefully, Yuuri placed the stranger's arms over his shoulder and pulled up from their knees to carry them, his left wrist was slightly sore but Yuuri assumed he had banged it by accident in his sleep. Once Yuuri was inside his apartment he carefully laid the stranger over his bed, stripping off the jacket and boots to fold beside the bed. Yuuri checked his uninvited guest, making sure they were still on good health. The only explanation he could think of was that the stranger had been drinking that night, and the alcohol had persuaded him to fall asleep outside. 

Exhausted, he staggered to his couch, and allowed his lethargy to lull him to sleep. Running into a drunk man was not part of his usual routine, but Yuuri wouldn't have ignored a person that was out of it. As he fell asleep, vague traces of his blurred memories emerged.


	2. Lonely Boy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was actually supposed to be 3K, but somehow it just kept growing to 6K… Although I’m sure there won’t be a lot of complaints. Surprisingly I ended up doing a bunch of research during the writing process, especially regarding Victor. Victor is pretty extra in this, but please understand: He lived for nothing for a really long time, and suddenly he doesn't have to be alone. I hope this story will continue to impress you guys. Cause honestly, I never expected to receive so much positive comments, it’s a joy to know that you guys like the story, seriously, I don't think I've ever come so close to crying from such sweet feedback. Thanks so much for the support.

Melatonin helped Yuuri sleep, but it was hard to stay that way; it made him sensitive to noise. Tonight was an exception though, Yuuri slept for nine glorious uninterrupted hours. Thinking that it was a day of productivity, he decided to open his eyes as soon as his consciousness arose, only to see a strangely beautiful pair of cloud blue eyes.

Strong, sharp, cheekbones paired flattered by thick locks of silver, slightly shaggy from sleeping..

Drowsy, Yuuri felt inclined to reach out, feeling the soft cheek’s chilled temperature. The stranger leaned in the touch and closed their eyes, a content sigh escaped their lips. “You’re a romantic type, I see.”

The words and sensation crashed violently into reality. Yuuri jerked his arm back and banged his head against the wall, and his face burned. Momentarily, he rubbed where the pain throbbed, much more aware of his surroundings. The man he had brought in was perching his elbows on the surface of his bed, staring at his sleeping face. “I apologize if I frightened you, it seemed you were sleeping peacefully, I didn’t want to disturb my saviour.” his eyes blinked open, Yuuri almost thought he saw red, but knew it was due to his poor eyesight.

Fumbling for his glasses on his shelf, Yuuri replied “No! It’s okay…! Um...” Finally, he slipped his glasses on his face, clarity hitting him again with how an attractive stranger had been staring for who knew how long “When did you get up?”

“Suppose it’s been a hour now.” 

Pushing off his blankets, Yuuri got to his feet before pausing “How did I get in my bed when I fell asleep on my couch.” So long as he avoided eye contact, he was fine. Yuuri could pretend that it was a friend he was speaking to.  

“Oh, well, when I woke up, I thought you would have wanted the bed back, so I carried you.”

Yuuri felt his neck heat up, “O-Oh… Thanks for that.” he wasn’t sure what was the appropriate response.

Sensing his struggle, it seemed the stranger decided to change the topic to keep the conversation going “So what were you doing in the middle of the night?”

The question caught him off guard, he turned again to look at his guest “I um... was restless, and was out of melatonin… The convenience store was just a block away so… I figured why not?” He replied, ignoring how awkward he felt for revealing this personal side of him. But Yuuri wanted this stranger to understand his good intentions now that they were brought to attention. Yuuri stood up and began to pick up some of his loose articles of clothing, attempting to clean up.

The silver haired man happily sat on his bed, leaning against the wall the bed was pressed against “I see,” the stranger reached for a fairly thick book. “May I?” he asked, lifting the piece of literature. Yuuri nodded, “Sure.”

Yuuri liked people, he socialized but often took time to replenish his energy. It was when he was confronted by the minority of flawlessly stunning people, that he found himself choking on his own words.

“Your name?” He managed to ask, belittling himself for using the worst combination of words to ask a simple question. A simple question that seemed too personal.

The stranger smiled, his dimples more prominent from the question “Victor Nikiforov. You?”

Yuuri’s breath hitched, and took longer than he preferred to answer as a result to process the question “Yuuri Katsuki.” He closed his eyes, he needed to get it together. Victor was safe and awake;Yuuri was hoping he’d leave soon now that the night had passed so he could die from being embarrassingly nervous. At least he managed to reply without struggle.

“Also, I’m sorry about earlier. I was still kind of asleep and ended up touching your face.” Yuuri grabbed the last loose shirt he had on the ground to throw into his laundry basket. He debated whether or not taking a seat besides Victor was a good idea, immediately settled with the couch across the bed.

Victor was reading a random passage from the novel, eyes focused on each word “No, no, I was pleasantly surprised that you were so gentle at the sight of an unknown face.” he flipped a page, his smile becoming more prominent. “Suppose you have difficulty in sleeping?”

While it was rude doing so, he couldn't help but observe Victor’s soft features. “Occasionally, I take melatonin every week or so...I usually take it fifteen minutes before I sleep.” no matter what angle, Victor was always attractive in one way or another. There wasn’t even a question of what sort of attractive he was, his features were very androgynous, it wouldn’t have surprised Yuuri if he was a model.  

“Ah, that makes sense now.” Victor mumbled, closing the novel he had been reading with great interest. Before Yuuri could further inquire about his words, Victor sat up and quickly joined Yuuri beside him on the couch. “But enough of that, may I take you out for dinner?”

Admittedly, Yuuri froze, he had to take a good few seconds to repeat and process the question. _“Take out? As in...trash? But I don’t really have trash… Maybe he meant me? No he said… Dinner.”_ Right. Dinner. _“A date.”_

‘Sure.’ was his default answer when Yuuri was confused, which was a bad habit, but his anxiety would always scream at him to avoid saying no if he did otherwise. Instead, he settled for a more subtle approach “It’s really not necessary for you to do that.” In fact, it was a little odd.

Victor’s fore finger traced soft circles on the back of Yuuri’s wrist “Mr. Katsuki, perhaps I need to be a bit more forward. I’m asking because I’d like to get to know you.” his finger hand increased to two, and soon traced down to his wrist, turning it over to trace over an unfamiliar marking. “Preferably intimately.” he leaned close, almost touching.

Chills tore throughout Yuuri’s skin, and stood up quickly. “Shower first! Um… By myself! H-Help yourself to anything in my kitchen....!” he staggered towards the bathroom, hoping that Victor wouldn’t notice the visible heat in his face. A shower would offer him time and distance from Victor; a person he barely knew who seemed like they had been flirting with him. Or perhaps that was an egotistical assumption, but Yuuri was ninety percent sure Victor was flirting in some form.

Victor laid on the couch, his face smooth with pensiveness “Of course. I’ll make us both something.”

Yuuri traced his wrist, the touch still lingering. Unaware of the marking that had appeared last night.

 

* * *

 

Victor watched with great content as Yuuri scurried off to the shower. Based on what he had seen and knew, Yuuri was anxious, but had a good heart for taking a stranger in. There was also the issue with his marked wrist. It wasn’t so much of an issue, it was more of mind boggling surprise that he was never prepared to deal with.

This growing sensation of joy was a sapling when he awoke in comforting smells of his human. His human. A thought he never expected to have after sleeping for so many years. The longer he had observed Yuuri, the more joy bloomed in him.Victor covered his face in excitement, laying face down on the couch, he felt like a young human again, naive to the path of love but all the more thrilled to experience it. Bliss filled him, and he allowed a few tears to escape him.

Finally. After so many years of cycling through city after city, after city, he found a companion. Victor was not a fool to mistaken this overwhelming feeling with love, but he knew it was  the thrill of discovering the possibility. Never had Victor expected to find his mortal half in a small city such as this. Yuuri had his bloodline’s crest appear on his wrist. Indeed, he never expected this after living so long in solitude. It seemed so obvious now that he thought about it, he fed but somehow ended up drugged from the melatonin, an odd sign sign from fate, but Victor was never one to complain.

With time as his ally, Victor would dedicate his time towards familiarizing himself with Yuuri. Quickly, he pulled his cell phone out to call his mentor, the man who had mentored him in the skills of blending in with other when he first awoke a millennium ago.

“Yakov? It’s Victor, and I… found my other half.”

“And?” his mentor’s voice was scratchy and annoyed, looks like he had been asleep before Victor had called.

“Well… I was hoping you could start preparing our wedding!”

Yakov hung up, most likely thinking that this was a prank call Victor occasionally made when he was bored. Victor clicked his tongue from the abandonment, but perhaps Yakov was telling him to take it slow through his rough attitude.

Still riding his exhilaration, Victor strolled to the bathroom to knock on the door “Yuuri, let’s go for dinner.”

“Um, Victor, I’m in the shower… Can’t this wait…?”

Victor leaned against the door, enjoying the sound of warm water spraying in the other room “I just need a yes or no. It was admirable for you to have helped at all, I wanted to show my thanks.” Victor’s words were sincere, originally his intention was taking Yuuri out for dinner was a show of gratefulness. However, with the change in circumstances, his intentions were to win Yuuri’s affections.

The sound of running water stopped, delicate sounds of water dripped as the aftermath of the shower. Victor waited, afraid that Yuuri would say no if he was rushed. A sigh escaped, “Sure… what time?”

“Tonight at 6pm!” Victor chirped, his cheeks flushing with colour.

“Okay, I’ll um, stop by your house.”

“Perfect! I’ll leave you to your shower.” Victor almost skipped down to the kitchen, checking out what was available for him to prepare breakfast. Most vampires consumed humans, but being one of the ‘Pures’ Victor would indulge himself in human food every once in awhile.

Labelling himself as one of the Pures of his kind was far too blue-blooded for his taste. Yes, he was born 500 years ago, but he never lived until 50 years ago. After the betrayal of his loved one, Victor slept for 400 years, in hopes of perishing.

All of that was a simplistic past that he couldn’t change, but it all worked out for the best in the end, now that he met Yuuri.Opening the upper cupboards above the oven, Victor pulled out a few cups and bowls, some familiar ingredients from the fridge. A part of him wanted to amaze Yuuri with his cooking prowess, but Victor really didn’t want to set fire to Yuuri’s apartment because of his clumsiness. Eggs was the default meal for breakfast.

Taking a small bowl, Victor cracked open two eggs and mixed with a fork. Once he was finished preparing the meal, he left it neatly organized on a plate for Yuuri. As much as Victor would have loved to stay and provide conversation, it would reflect poorly on him if he didn’t begin to prepare for tonight, he wanted to impress him..

Victor dressed in his thick jacket, taking in a final scan of Yuuri’s living quarters to remember the details.

 

* * *

 

The water was cold. Which was normal in every household, the tap, the shower; all these would pour with freezing water before warm temperatures would take over. It worked out for Yuuri though, it felt pleasant on his skin. It woke him up, it calmed down his anxiety, and cooled his heated skin. Something about the private space and water eased him. 

Yuuri needed to accept he was anxious. Victor was a man he had helped out, and it wasn’t odd that this gorgeous man wanted to bond with him despite knowing nothing about him. Or maybe it was odd for a prosperous and attractive person to suddenly develop an overnight interest in him. Or maybe it was presumptuous of him to assume that the man even wanted to be associated with him. Yuuri began to lather up his hair. Victor seemed nice, and hopefully his kindness was sincere, Yuuri would see where things go.

Being friends would be nice, but unrealistic. Social hierarchy dictated that Yuuri and Victor will never breathe the same air; but Victor didn’t seem the type to care for social regulations, he did fall asleep on the road and didn't seem to care about that fact. Thinking on it now, why did he fall asleep on the road? Initially, he assumed it was alcohol, but the absence of a hangover proved otherwise. He turned on the water, enjoying how the soapy suds were carried off from the water, Yuuri would ask at dinner.

Before he could further explore the possibilities, a voice cut through from the door “Yuuri, let’s go for dinner.”

The heat returned in his cheeks, Yuuri knew that Victor was unable to witness his nakedness, but it was the fact that he was naked with only a few meters of space between that made it seem too intimate for his taste.

“Um, Victor, I’m in the shower… Can’t this wait…?” His hand reached for the knob, turning the shower off with each twist, grabbing the soap to continue his productive cleansing.

“I just need a yes or no. It was admirable for you to have helped at all, I wanted to show my thanks.” Victor’s voice was quiet, almost small.

Yuuri knew his answer, he just wasn’t sure if it was the right one. He took a deep breath “Sure… what time?”

“Tonight at 6pm!” Victor’s voice peaked, sounding happy. It was hard to resist from empathizing with Victor’s excitement.

“Okay, I’ll um, stop by your house.” Yuuri scrubbed his neck, hoping to cover the redness was from the rough exfoliation rather than embarrassment.

When Yuuri finished up, he was greeted with a note and a plate of promising food when he exited his bathroom. First was the note.

_To Mr. Katsuki,_

_Unfortunately, some urgent business tugged my attention that required my attention, I prepared a meal before I left however. I’ll still be available for dinner thankfully, but hope you can forgive my sudden absence. My address is Moonwoods Avenue 335 and I hope to see you very soon. Dinner will be held at Diana Rose, so prepare yourself if need be. My current cell number is located at the back of the page for you._

_Your grateful friend, Victor Nikiforov_

While Yuuri appreciated the sophisticated calligraphy and wording, he was plummeting in panic again. Diana Rose was one of those top restaurants in the world that had people fighting for a spot to eat there, so long as money wasn’t an issue, which it was for many. Yuuri would resemble closer to a homeless man compared to the people that could afford Diana Rose. It would have been rude if he rejected Victor’s thanks, and Yuuri did want to get close with his new acquaintance if it was a possibility.

* * *

“This is sexual harassment, do not make me call the police.” Yuri threatened, tugging to open the doors Victor had the foresight to lock up. Yuri was the new apprentice of Yakov’s, a fresh vampire. A young one, unfortunately. Naturally Victor took him under his wing. “But what if he's actually a sexual deviant in disguise? Maybe I need to wear red lingerie, but blue is my signature colour…” Victor lifted the red piece of lacy stocking in his left hand, the other blue. 

“Victor, shut up. Please stop talking about that.” Yuri covered his ears, eyes closed to shut out anything Victor had to say.

Forfeiting his questions, he threw them on his bed “Alright! But still… do you think I'm interesting? I did say I was his friend in the letter… but maybe that was arrogant on my part? What if I friendzoned myself?”

Yuri rolled his eyes, chewing with his mouth full of potato chips, it was clear that he wished Victor had never discovered social media “Victor, his Facebook tells us he's an anxious fuck that doesn't date a lot. He probably thought you were a model shat out of every attractive god.”

Victor grinned “You think so? Hehe!” he stroked the smooth surface of his laid out suit, a lovely grey and dark blue arrangement. “Maybe I should have kept my hair longer…” his fingers played with the ends of his short hair “Yuuri might not like men in that way…” he realized, tugging his locks when anxiety surged.

Yuri jerked his head violently to Victor “Fuck. Victor. He said yes to dinner. Go bone it out! Just let me fucking leave! Kidnap, eat, or marry him, I don't give a shit!” He tugged again, using his dominant foot to increase the pressure as he tried to pull the door open.

Sighing, Victor sat on his bed, resigned from keeping his kin from staying any longer “Yurio, the doors aren't locked, they push open.”

His attempts stalled, Victor chuckled at Yuri’s furious expression. “Don't fucking bother me again.” With a final push, Yuri stormed out, throwing his potato chip bag against the ground. “Yurio, you better clean up the mess, otherwise Georgi will scold you!” he reminded.

It was a bit mean, but Victor knew that an angry Georgi was more trouble than it was worth, for everyone. Georgi was a sensitive man, a modest description of his large personality. Before, he had been filled with rage after his wife turned him, he was beast. But thanks to his daughter saving him, he was dutifully ‘vegetarian’, consuming blood from animals and willing vampires, a tribute to his child that was lost to age and death.

Victor empathized with that side of Georgi, he shared the unwillingness to eat from humans, but was unable to participate. Victor easily became weak without human blood because his body was more fragile than most vampires; he suspected it was because as a human the Black Plague had spread in his village, he had barely survived it.

But sometimes Georgi went overboard on the sensitivity part, violent behavior made him weep and it pushed him to correct the behavior by weeping and hugging it out. Yuri had experienced on more than one occasion of Georgi’s teachings, and escape was impossible with his massive strength.

“Fuck you Victor!” Yuri snapped, the sound of plastic bag told that he was now cleaning up. Satisfied, Victor turned back to his lingerie sets. It was never a bad thing to be prepared, but Yuuri might be overwhelmed, and Victor was a little intimidated by the idea of wearing them much to his dismay.

He aired out the lacy garments and folded them away in his drawer. A suit would be enough for the night, he was jumping the gun again. Victor cleaned himself with a shower, and dabbled cologne in various places of his limbs. He blow dried his hair and styled it with a bit of cream before he loosened it with fingers to avoid an uptight appearance.

Victor was ready.

* * *

 

Despite his tendency to get lost, Yuuri arrived early to Victor’s house. It wasn't that Yuuri's sense of direction was poor, the issue was that the buses were always late. Thankfully, his friend Phichit had a car and lived two streets down from him. In exchange, he explained how he managed to get himself in this situation

Naturally, his friend exploded with excitement, encouraging him, asking if he needed lube and condoms, and offering to talk him through the date. Yuuri politely declined such offers, but appreciated the good intentions despite the mortifying innuendos.

Unsurprised, they reached a large house that resembled an old Victorian nobleman’s house, only it was surrounded by modern pools and fountains made of glass. Phichit eventually said goodbye, telling Yuuri to fight hard for this. What he meant by fighting, Yuuri hoped he would never find out. 

While Yuuri had been raised in Japan, where homosexuality wasn't the most accepted concept, Yuuri’s family had been fairly open to it since his family wasn't the type to care regarding the societal norm. Yuuri would have been lucky with the chance to experience romance at all, being so focused on his studies and family business, his love life was never given attention.

Yuuri had no experience in dating besides a mild crush on his childhood friend that was quickly squashed because of unreciprocated feelings. It wasn’t hard on him, it was painful, but he knew from the very beginning that his feelings were one sided. In this case, Yuuri wasn’t sure if their dinner was a romantic gesture. It wasn’t like he was against dating males, dating was simply a foreign field Yuuri never explored.

Followed the smooth path to the door, Yuuri took a deep breath. After tonight, he would see where this goes. Before he was given the chance to knock, the door swung open, a large poodle jumped  on his stomach to greet him excitedly. Yuuri couldn't help but rub the canine behind the ears, it looked so much like his old dog at home.

“Makkachin must really like you, he never cuddles with anybody that quickly.”

Yuuri turned away from the dog to see a much more refined version of the strange man he met that morning. Victor stood in a dainty three piece suit that shone with prestigious wealthy. Face looked much more lively with his ivory skin and turquoise eyes that never failed to glow with life. “Victor...You look…” Yuuri stopped himself, aware of what his sentence was leading to “...Great.” He cleared his threat, stroking Makkachin’s soft fur to distract himself.

“Thank you, Yuuri. You look quite attractive yourself. I hope you didn't have difficulty reaching the address.” Victor tightened his tie and smoothed it out.

“No, no, the streets didn't have that many houses so it was straightforward.” Yuuri lied, Phichit took selfies with the many houses they passed by.

“Perfect. Shall we leave for dinner?” Victor gestured for the open garage, revealing a sleek Mercedes coloured black. Yuuri nodded and followed Victor into the car after they returned the dog back into the house.

Knowing it was unrealistic, Yuuri wished the dog came, it would have made the ongoing silence less tense. Although it was awkward, Victor seemed well meaning when he started conversation. “The restaurant is known for their decadent seafoods. A favorite of mine is the sea cucumber soup, what's your favorite meal?”

Staring out the window helped distract Yuuri from his beating heart that threatened to explode “Katsudon, it’s a dish I grew up eating.” The car slowed with the growing numbers in traffic, Yuuri's eyes focused on the isolated trees beside the sidewalks, wondering if they bloomed flowers in the spring. “Usually it's rice with pork and eggs overtop.”

“Ah, of course. Reminds one of home.” Victor’s voice had been slightly more sweeter, which called Yuuri’s attention for a brief moment. A somber smile was plastered on Victor, and Yuuri couldn't help but ask “Where are you from?” He had a few guesses, occasionally an accent would cling to a few of Victor’s words, though it was hard to notice. Yuuri just wanted to see a less gloomy smile on his company’s face.

“Depends who you ask. Though I suppose Russia would be the answer, I was born there but spent most of my life traveling around.” Victor’s face brightened, his voice following a memory, his eyes clouded with warmth. “The north is chilly, southern areas have warm temperature, despite the varying weather, it’s a beautiful country.”

In the shifting lights from passing down the streets, Victor’s expression was calm and warm, recalling fond memories as his eyes radiated with life, before it trembled with something bitter.

“What about you?” Victor inquired, trying to brush off the dark memory he seemed to have remembered, his voice was a little weak.

“Hasetsu, found in Saga Prefecture, Kyushu, Japan. We get regular seasons, winter, spring, summer, and fall. My family owns a public onsen, you should come by.” Yuuri slipped up and invited Victor to his family business. Normally this wouldn’t be an issue, but now he had essentially invited them to go together. “I mean, if you ever find yourself in the area. Don’t feel any pressure to visit.”

“No problem, I’ll keep it in mind.” Victor said, almost absentmindedly, becoming oddly quiet.

Although they sat near each other, Yuuri couldn’t see what was going on with Victor no matter how closely he observed his face, he felt abruptly isolated. It seemed Victor had closed himself off the moment he thought of Russia, and Yuuri hated that he couldn’t ask why. The sudden distance between them was unnerving, and all they could do was put up with the silence, their destination promised to break the isolation. Victor spent the ride focused on driving, and Yuuri spent it searching for an answer.

* * *

Dinner began with a rocky start, it being dead quiet at dinner. Normally the restaurant was always bustling with people, sometimes it was open all night for occasional private parties. Yuuri did his best to eat with grace, after Victor showed him how to properly use certain utensils. Thankfully, things smoothed out, conversations started and continued.

After a few generous cups of wine, Yuuri loosened, his anxiety a little muddled but still rational. He knew his limits so getting drunk wasn't really a problem. Conversations were simple and pleasant, exactly what Yuuri needed after the awkward first meeting. After they finished discussing Victor’s hobby of knitting with Yuuri teasing him by calling him an ‘old lady’ at heart, Yuuri felt a little courageous and decided to ask the one question he couldn't shake off “You could have anybody you want, why take interest in me?” Yuuri reached for his glass of water with a napkin to prevent his hands dampening from the built up condensation.

Victor, who had been slowly forking lobster pasta, widened his eyes from the assertive nature of his question. Gracefully, he pat down the corners of his lips clean with his napkin and set down his cutlery. There was no hesitation “To marry you of course.”

Water threatened to escape through his nose when his throat tightened from the furthest answer he imagined. Yuuri expected a more flirtatious, or coy response, not a sentence that crashed into the ground and made the world tumble. Coughing up the pain, Yuuri caught the water with his sleeve despite the indelicacy of it. The absurdity of it was too extreme for any humour to be found “Victor, that’s a terrible joke. I almost thought you were serious.” Yuuri huffed, rubbing the lingering burn in his chest away.

“Oh, but I am serious.” Victor’s hand somehow sneaked up to touch the tips of Yuuri’s fingers, ice cold. “You see, I borrowed the restaurant for the day, the owner of Diana Rose is an old friend, to take the time to explain this...” slowly his fingers crawled forward, resting over Yuuri’s sweating hand “...After getting to know you of course, I want you to get comfortable with me before becoming more intimated .” Fingers pushed his sleeves away, dipping deeper into his arm, a suggestive caress on skin.

Jerking his hands into his lap, Yuuri massaged the skin of his arm, the trail where Victor had touched “I’m not sure where you’re going with this...I-I really don’t understand what you’re trying to tell me.” his fingers tapped nervously on his lap, unable to bring himself to look in Victor’s direction in fear of becoming overwhelmed by the reality of the situation.

Victor hummed in understanding and provided Yuuri the time to prepare himself, he returned his focus back to his meal, likely aware that Yuuri needed to process his question without the pressure of his gaze. Eventually a waiter appeared with Yuuri’s final dish; dark breast that had been braised in aged wine. Thanking the waiter, he picked up his knife and fork and began to slice into the meat into bite sizes. The food was tender, spiced, and slightly sweet to his approval. However, Victor’s words lingered in the corners of his mind, tugging at the strings of his conscious mind. Yuuri refilled his empty glass with wine, needing a bit more courage when he finished eating to climb out of this hole Victor had kicked him in.

The dish was filling as it was delicious. Once again, Yuuri gave his gratitude to the waiter when he came around to remove their finished plates. Victor gently tipped his glass, the dark wine slowly disappeared. When he set it down Yuuri wrenched out what little courage he had “I’m not looking to marry you.” It wasn't the best transition, but directness prevented misunderstandings. “Victor, I don't even understand why we’re here.”

“You want an answer?” Victor asked simply, patiently waiting for Yuuri to ask him what he needed to know, eyes slightly tinged with warning, as if he was asking if Yuuri truly wanted the truth.

“Yes. If this isn’t a joke, then yes, I do.” Anything would be better than being left in a state of unexplained confusion.

“Yuuri Katsuki, according to mythology, there exists a bloodthirsty ‘creature’ that travels in shadows.” Victor began, observing his companion give a look of uncertainty before giving a nod to continue. “The truth of them is much different to what is advertised. They once coexisted with humans, providing them companionship while they gained blood, they were a gentle race. The reason for this, was because they only contain half a soul. Their other part usually joins with a human. In order to find them, they drink from humans to see if their bloodline mark appears on the bite, an indication of their other half.” Victor could sense the air around Yuuri begin to stain with disbelief, but refrained from speaking up.

Understanding that Yuuri would not say a word until he finished, Victor continued “These creatures are known as Vampires. Last night, I placed you under a temporary charm, and fed.” he paused from the mix of fear and scepticism but pushed further “I noticed this morning, my mark appeared on your dominant wrist. It’s the blue silhouette of deer antlers.” slowly he gestured to Yuuri’s right arm, encouraging him to check.

Yuuri wet his lips, feeling nervous when he lifted his wrist to his face and reached for the sleeve of his suit, slowly tugging it down to reveal a design of light blue antlers with black roses at the center. “How did you…?” Yuuri asked, unsure what exactly to ask Victor, the story he heard was absurd.

Gently, Victor showed his right wrist to Yuri, a replica of Yuuri’s mark was there “When charmed, Vampires can erase a small memory.” Victor met Yuuri’s eyes, intense with devotion. “I am yours if you’ll have me.” Victor’s voice trickled, trembling and smooth, like a stream.

“You know how ridiculous your story sounds, right?” Yuuri hoped that Victor would admit he lied, that this was some joke to mock the common people like him. That way he could just move on with his simple, patterned life.

“Yes. But I swear, it’s the truth.”

“You don’t even know me, how could you decide that you suddenly want me? That isn’t what love is.”

Victor’s face transformed into what Yuuri could describe as a guileless smile; warm, open, and patient “I agree, it isn’t. But I’d like to get to know you so that I can love you with earnest, and for you to get to know me so you can decide if you could love me.” His glacier eyes closed.To Yuuri, he imagined Vampires as deathly looking creatures that mindlessly lurked in the dark to consume blood, not someone like Victor, a man who resembled more of an angel with his starlight hair and cloud blue eyes. This had to be a brutal prank. Even if this was the truth, was the risk even worth the humiliation?

No. It wasn’t. “Show me proof.” Yuuri would turn this around Victor, he refused to be the victim this time. Victor could have gotten a fake tattoo and stuck it on his wrist while sleeping. “Promise you won’t run?” Victor asked.

Yuuri nodded, but remembered Victor had his eyes closed.”Promise.”

Victor took a deep breath through his nose, and out his mouth. The air around Yuuri suddenly weighed down on him, his stomach twisted in cold terror, and his body threatened to shatter from the inside, it was like his shadow was choking him. Closed eyes lifted, blinking and looking down at Yuuri holding on to the table for support. “I’m sorry, I’ll stop.” Victor lifted the air and Yuuri could breathe again “It’s been too long since I’ve used that sort of skill, I overdid it, I’m sorry.”

“No… I asked, so I should have been more prepared.” Yuuri readjusted himself in his seat, his breath hitched from the change in Victor’s eyes; Victor’s eyes bled into deep violet, encapturing his attention with its odd pigment; deep, alluring, and endless. “Your eyes...”

“Oh, that’s a side effect… When I overdo it.” Victor chuckled, a weak laughter escaped him as he took his seat once again “Did I scare you?”

Yuuri hesitated, but nodded “A bit, but… I guess I believe that you’re what you say you are.” His mouth pursed before he added “But I’m still not sure if I can trust the part about soulmates.”

“I understand.” Victor opened his mouth again before closing, his eyes dropping down to the pale tablecloth, trying to keep his disappointment at bay. Victor desired Yuuri, but only wanted him if Yuuri was willing, he refused to allow Yuuri to witness his dissatisfaction to avoid meaningless pity. “So, I guess… If this isn’t some cruel joke, I don’t dislike the idea of getting to know you.” It was a first for a man to ask for Yuuri’s company out of romantic interest, but was more surprised by the absence of distaste. He suspected it was because of the sincerity of Victor’s words, that he was compelled to comply.

Victor stood up on his feet, arms trembling by his side “Really?” his heart raced for the first time in centuries, the fluttering feeling of hope rose in his chest and stretched to his face in the form of a persistent smile. Already his mind was unwrapping ideas and conversations they could participate in and grow close as a result before settling.

Avoiding eye contact, Yuuri nodded “If you’re telling the truth.”

Tears almost escaped him again, the promise of companionship was so rare, Victor had lost it once so long ago. This time, he wouldn’t be so careless “Thank you, Yuuri.” he was grateful for this chance and would be careful with getting to know Yuuri.

When Yuuri looked up to Victor’s face, the handsome prince had shed his confident skin, revealing loneliness, something Yuuri understood all too well. In all honesty, Yuuri had no solid reason to agree with Victor’s selfish request, but perhaps it was because he also craved companionship. A person whom Yuuri could confide in. He offered his hand to Victor, leaning in when it was taken to brush aside Victor’s bangs as an awkward attempt to comfort and calm his date “Would you like to meet up next week?” he asked.

  
“I’d love that, very much.” Victor’s eyes sparkled, holding back from smiling too much. A more fitting expression for his honest self, Yuuri thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ARE U READY KIDS?  
> AYE AYE CAPTAIN  
> I CANT HEAR YOU  
> AYE AYE CAPTAIN  
> OHHHHHH~ WHO’S READY TO GET ON THE ANGSTY TRAIN?
> 
> In case you guys want to know a little more for what's coming next, or if you just wanna say hi, stop by my tumblr : http://lacycandy.tumblr.com/  
> It'll be a slight while until the next update, I got exams coming unfortunately. Please drop a comment if you got the time! They always cheer me up!


	3. Ataraxia

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things get very dark for poor Yurio, Victor, and Yuuri. So read with caution (No injuries or deaths)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter ended up a lot more angsty that I anticipated so PLEASE proceed with caution.(I have added tags accordingly)
> 
> Edit February 28th 2017: I reread the chapter and I realized the interactions and dialogue were sloppy so I edited it, sorry about that! And thanks for those who pointed it out!

~~~~Several weeks had passed, hunger grew with each day, and starvation twisted and grew in the coils of the body. An unending hunger that had yet to be tamed. Victor had been the one responsible to provide for Yuri Plisetsky and to teach him the proper techniques to feed; a duty he had forgotten this week. Yuri gave himself the trait of patience, he provided generous hints, glares, and verbal comments that highlighted how hungry he was, going as far to point out that his fangs were poking into his lip; a solid symptom of starvation for their kind, a piece of evidence that Victor should have taken note. It didn't help with the relentless texts he received from Victor regarding how well things were going

Yuri was starving and the growing feral hunger was affecting him severely. He wouldn't admit it to anyone, but the lack of control he had on his bloodlust frightened him to the core. His symptoms progressively worsened to the point of blacking out, and sometimes he’d resort to eating animals at night. It twisted his stomach when he'd catch his reflection,  
hitting him with reality; his limbs would be covered in either mud or blood, some patches in his hair would be coloured maroon and drip bright red on the marbled floor, his body covered from head to toe in the aftermath of violence. There was something about the sight that made every hair on his body stand on end. His breath would hitch, and fingers trembled when he touched for his reflection, smearing the sight before him with a trail of cold blood.

It would take him minutes before his strength gathered enough for him to get in the shower, to watch the dried blood go down the drain in the form of tinted water. During the process of cleaning himself, his thoughts would never fail to return how he turned into a vampire, recalling the bitter feeling of betrayal as fingers traced over the old markings. Despite the healing time gave him, the ache would always be there. Victor really needed to pick up his shit instead of devoting every bit of his time centered around a human.

Instead of helping Yuri practice his feeding, Victor had stupidly forgotten about him over a human. This wouldn't do.

On a particular, after being informed about Victor’s coffee date for that night, Yuri became determined to get it through his head that he needed blood. As much as he enjoyed eating junk food, it could only scratch an itch for so many times before it lost it’s effect. After his favorite show ended for that night, Yuri was prepared for a night of tracking, and ignored Mila’s pestering questions as to where he was headed so late at night. He knew it was out of worry, but he couldn't really take the time to appreciate it since he had places to be and things to do, he did say that he would text her occasionally so she’d know he wasn't dead.

Carefully, he followed the vibrant presence of Victor; a blue flicker of fire that switched to violet, it was annoyingly difficult to track. To his luck, it seemed the town had a parade going on and most of the people had gathered around for it, perfect for tracking the only vampiric presence near the coffee shop Victor was at. It was good timing when he caught sight of the two exiting the small cafe with irritatingly smiles plastered on their faces. The scene between them was disgustingly adoring, it only further infuriated him to see the joy in Victor’s face while he was left to suffer for his forgetfulness. The rush of rage fed his violent hunger for blood, it whispered that it would be easy to tear apart a random human to pieces and feast, that a bloodbath was the perfect treat for his starved body. Such thoughts were shoved away as he used the pain of biting into his hand to keep himself in control and satiate the thirst of blood temporarily.

Yuri travelled along the evening, buildings and shadows provided him effective disguise as he trailed along in hopes of catching Victor by himself. Stalking Victor and his human allowed him to observe their interactions. They walked down the paths through the park, their hands occasionally brushing on their walk before fingers would link together. A smitten russian and a timid human exchanged hesitant glances, sweet words and mild touches. For the few passing seconds, it was hard to deny how rare a sight it was to witness Victor’s current expression; blue eyes glimmered with a playful passion as Victor chuckled along the human, usually his expression consisted of a dull glow of a withered man who seemed lost in what he wanted in life, and a lonely smile paired with a tired voice. Victor was glowing with life, and there was no denying it, he had found a reason to live on and seemed content just from the discovery that he was never destined to be alone. If this human, Yuuri Katsuki, made Victor that happy, Yuri couldn't help but wonder how severe the loss would be. Even if they were to fall in love and never leave each other, there was the impending issue of mortality and immortality, and reincarnation was foolish concept thought up of by humans.

“Disgusting.” Yuri thought, tempted to gag at the cavity sweet scene of a couple laughing.

An old memory resurfaced,Victor had one impossible desire; to be mortal again and live a domestic life with his soulmate. Most vampires desired the same thing, the good ones at least, the blood crazed ones were only interested in how much they could kill and usually had a short life after they’re caught and arrested. The one tragedy of it all was that it was impossible. Humans were fragile and die too easily and often, and vampires were permanently cursed to rot and perish as their memories become blurred with their endless life.

Victor would occasionally court a human when his loneliness peaked and a mortal catches his interest, but it never worked when he revealed what he was. Humans would recoil from him out of fear and disgust, and Yakov would have to step in to erase their memory of Victor, leaving a mess of his mentor. Despite being one of the oldest of their vampire group, Victor wore his heart on a sleeve like a naive child, always burning himself for his recklessness in hopes of being accepted. Taking the risk was beyond foolish. Victor was a stupid sentimentalist that never learned. An idiot Yuri couldn't ignore, he too was once human not long ago; he still had a certain tenderness in him, the group was all he had, and they needed to look out for each other. No matter how foolish and reckless Victor was, they were still part of the same group, a dysfunctional family of sorts. This wasn't the reason for tracking Victor down though, he was hungry, and was ready to give Victor an earful. Just because this human was his mentor’s soulmate did not mean he was allowed to forget about everything else.

When the couple finally reached the end of the street, Yuuri seemed prepared to leave for his home. Victor’s eyes dimmed in disappointment, a wave of loneliness flooded in his eyes. His company seemed to empathize with Victor when they reached out, the back of their hand gently touched Victor’s cheeks and offered soft words of a loving nature despite their flustered and embarrassed state. Victor immediately relaxed from the touch, leaning in as his eyes closed to take in the moment, he took a deep breath before opening his eyes again; a tender blue that flickered with affection. His mentor bent forward to press his lips over the human’s forehead, the human’s cheeks flushed and had flinched in surprise. Yurio was close to vomiting, his stomach ached and his nails itched, he couldn't tell if it was his hunger or the sickeningly sweet interactions.

Once the distance between the pair was deemed far enough, Yuri began heading after Victor. “How fucking long does it it take to kiss, hold hands, and say goodbye. God forbid they suck face.” He growled under harsh breathing, he couldn't help from snorting at his referall to God term, his kind were typically unwelcome by the religious.

It was when he took a step in the dark streets that his body tensed. The hunger in him flared when he caught wind of the scent of blood. Human blood. Fresh, healthy, and warm, a sweet fulfilling answer to his bloodlust. A word filled his head, deafening him from other thoughts as it grew with urgency “Meal.”

His body pulsed and trembled with drowning craving for blood, to tear apart the human so he could bathe in his prey’s body fluids. Yuri succeeded in fighting against it by thinking of the devastation Victor would experience, how hurting the human would destroy Victor's trust in him. The killing of a kin’s other half was the worst taboo, it was a crime that the feral vampires knew to be unforgivable.

It worked, for a moment. Being so close to a fresh source of blood made it impossible to fight for long; Yuri was already so weak from lack of food, his urges were overpowering. Now, he was mindlessly tracking the scent of fresh blood, ears rang as the sound of his prey’s heartbeat teased him with the reward of blood. His mind was in chaos due to his aggressive instincts taking over, logic and self control were subdued by his feral needs, pushing down his consciousness. Yuri was visualizing it with his hazy mind; a shattered vampire holding the body of their precious soulmate, unable to forgive or forget his actions. Victor would see him as a murderer. This wasn’t how it was supposed to go.

* * *

 Mari used to tease Yuuri with horror stories as a child. They’d vary from Japanese mythology such as the kappa and snow ghost, to the Boogie Man and Bloody Mary. Typical older sibling behavior, but Yuuri never forgot how the back his neck tingled and the icy sensation of fear travel down his back with every story. He was a bit of masochist as child, enjoying the frightful unknown of other nonhuman monsters while losing sleep because of it. Scary stories didn't scare him as much anymore, it was people that terrified him nowadays, growing up taught him the capabilities of how cruel humans could be. Talking to them was a challenge, it was easy to slip up and unintentionally insult them, and then there would be a good chance something justifiably cruel would be returned. It was difficult to socialize with the knowledge that the things he did and said could potentially be perceived as rude, it made him believe that he was pathetic and useless for being unable to properly interact with others.

Never had Yuuri expected for his anxiety and fear to go into overdrive because someone was trying to kill him, it caught him off guard.

A chilling breeze pass through him, the biting frost of winter pinched his skin and the dry scent of road salt reminded him of his hometown’s ocean before he was thrown into an alley. His stomach twisted when his his feet were ripped from the ground, Yuuri couldn't help but compare the sensation to the time he was tricked to ride on a rollercoaster by his sister when he was young. The force and rush of was disorienting and his mind couldn't quite comprehend the intense spirals he passed through; it was an arduous concept the possibility of dying was fast approaching. All of it felt like he was falling down a rabbit hole before his back met with the rough brick wall to remind him how seriously in danger he was in.

The air in his body was forcibly extracted from his lungs, there was no chance to fight for his right to breathe in that instant of time. Please let this be a nightmare. The pain of it all temporarily drowned his thoughts of death from fact that the skin on his back was definitely bleeding. His head thrummed with the rising tension in his chest, heart catching on fire as repressed memories forcibly submerged him into the past in a pool of murky water. He was small when it happened. Kids teased him for his clumsy skating, and not knowing how to swallow his pride, he stupidly ventured on the thin ice of a lake.

It was a clear day. Calm and quiet. Ice rumbled from under him before it cracked and shifted, the vision of snow and trees quickly were replaced by smudged water. The shock of it left him blan and numb. Unfeeling. Swallowed whole. For that one second, everything was impossibly still before awareness drowned him. He gagged from the unbridled cold that tore through him. Water forced down his lungs, choking him into submission before his eyesight faded. It was all so quiet.

Death didn’t seem to think it was his time, his childhood friends Nishigori and Yuuko had been quick to save him. Nishigori managed to carry him out, his obtuse figure insulated his body from succumbing to hyperthermia, Yuuko was adept at performing CPR and succeeded. Both of his friends covered him in coats and scarves while they waited for help. Skating became an avoided activity since then. Yuuri had never expected to relive his experience of dying in the middle of downtown.

Blurred vision was beginning to return once he pulled away from his flashback. Yuuri’s eyes focused on his staggering attacker, it seemed they were mumbling something that resembled an apology. The light was dim in the alley, but it was difficult to deny what Yuuri saw. The sight of it turned his limbs cold, the warmth of his body would bleed out.The cardinal glow of red eyes promised death among the darkness, the elongated fangs were pale white and seemed to bare down at him. Hell seemed to have birthed this monster. Slowly, the hunched figure launched itself towards Yuuri in a blink of an eye, hands reached for his throat, seeming to desire to tear open the flesh and celebrate his death. Instincts took over and Yuuri jumped to his feet, only for his back to hit the ground when his steps stumbled back, fingers scraping over the rough texture of the wall in a useless attempt to finding an answer to escape; he was trapped.

He was going to slaughtered without a chance to fight for his life. The sheer difference in strength was a cruel display of sadism. In that moment, Yuuri understood exactly how fragile humans were to feral monsters, how easily death was coming for him, panic shot up and his heart raced. Bracing himself was the only thing he could do, he took a final breath and closed his eyes as it seemed to be the proper action.

A second passed and Yuuri swore he could hear feel his neck being crushed, it wasn't until another few seconds that he peeked to see the thing that had attacked him resembled a human, and was lying unconscious in the snow. Behind it, was a taller and more passive figure that had intervened at the right time. It was a man,

“Victor?” His voice was a whisper, and wavered like a trickle of water, his chest felt light as his heart began to relax from its adrenaline high.

Instinctively, Yuuri’s speculation had been confirmed from the unmistakable burn of violet eyes. It was Victor, but his expression was eerily dark, it was vastly out of place from the typical gentleness he was used to encountering. Victor’s eyes were twisted in fury and hatred, there was a sliver of something murderous as they stared down at Yuuri’s attacker with cruel indifference. Once the danger had been subdued, Yuuri witness the shift in emotions in Victor; cruelty turned into anger before it settled with bittersweet conflict.

“Are you okay?” Yuuri took a step towards Victor, careful to avoid tripping over the knocked out person. He wasn't sure if the current Victor was rational or not, but he needed to get closer to see what Victor was. A person, originally, but now resembled something inhuman.

Violet eyes switched focus, staring at him as they gleamed and turned soft before a dry laugh escaped him “I feel like I should be the one asking you that.” Victor hobbled over and pulled Yuuri’s arm forward and bring him into his arms. He buried his face against Yuuri’s neck. It took a moment to realize the reasoning behind this desperate action, Yuuri wrapped his arms around Victor to ease the trembling back, unsure what to do under these sort of circumstances, his feelings were in a state of panic and confusion. “I'm okay… so you don't need worry.” He tried to relax, but the pain in his back served a reminder what vampires were capable of. This was reality, and Yuuri wasn't quite sure if being in the arms of something that could slaughter him in seconds, would calm his suffocating panic.  
Victor shook his head, and tightened his grip around Yuuri’s waist, taking slow and deliberate breaths of his scent. He knew he was being a hypocrite for acting like he hadn’t been affected. He truly believed he was going to die, and it was hard to deny the emotional rollercoaster had exhausted him, the hot trickle of tears escaped him.  
Victor could sense the rejection in Yuuri, and although he was still alive, he feed Yuuri was slipping away already. Everything was a mess now.

* * *

The heavy rich sound of bells bounced around the walls of Victor’s living room when the clock struck twelve; nothing was said. The steam from fresh tea had long disappeared from cups. Yuuri's back itched from the bandages. Every second was accompanied with a tick and the concrete silence grew with weight, increasing the difficulty of breaking it. 

Occasionally, a hard swallow of air would be taken as the first step to introduce a topic, but no words would ever form. Something needed had to be said, to clarify, explain, and to provide reason. After what had happened tonight, something needed to happen. Pretending wasn’t realistic, especially after crying into each other’s arms. Forgetting such an intimate moment was an unsuitable approach.

Victor wasn’t sure whether to explain to Yuuri first or apologize to his disciple for neglecting his needs, though Yuri’s unconscious state left him with one option. They sat across from the table in muted silence except for the clock, their cold tea untouched. Both were aware of the clock and their heartbeat. Victor didn’t mind waiting, but Yuuri had school tomorrow and sleep was a needed.  
“So it’s true,” Yuuri began, composed with his carefully chosen words “You’re a vampire.”

His eyes scanned Victor “Not that I didn’t believe you...it’s just seeing it up close was kind of a visual shock for me… among other things.” he couldn’t help but glance at Yuri and take notice how clear and young his features were, a teenager’s face.

“I...had neglected to teach him how to feed, and he was pushed to near starvation because of me.” the shame of this seeped into his skin, weighing him down of how irresponsible he had been. Yes, he was notorious for being forgetful, but something this important was a severe oversight. “He was turned several months ago, quite young. Needless to say, he doesn't have the best control over his urges and hunger.”  
Normally he was excellent with keeping track of important promises and duties he had, but he failed Yuri, a young vampire who depended on him for survival “I’m so sorry.” His words were directed to Yuuri and Yuri, one for placing them in danger and the other apologizing for his carelessness.

“Is he going to okay?” Yuuri’s eyes wandered over to Yuri again. While he was attacked, it helped to know that it wasn’t intentional. He couldn’t help but imagine the hardship the teenager must have gone through. It must have been hard being so young and exposed to the bitter nature to reality. Something about Yuri was hardened and lonely. Hating this boy was not within Yuuri’s capabilities because he knew better; just because he wasn’t human, he wasn’t a monster. If he was a monster, Victor would have to be one as well, which was the furthest thing from the truth.

“For now, I provided him some packed blood. It’s sufficient enough to keep his hunger down.” Victor sipped his lukewarm tea before glancing at at his student, his lips pursed “I’ll have to teach him how to control his hunger while he’s still stable.” it was preferable to begin teaching right after Yuuri returns home to avoid future mishaps. They had all been lucky that nothing tragic happened. Yuuri’s life wasn’t a gamble.

Yuuri was deep in thought, he was reviewing and reflecting the events of that night, and all Victor could do was be patient despite the rising tension of the unknown reply that he would receive. Yuuri had first handedly experienced the dangerously violent nature of his kind, it would be selfish of him to force Yuuri to forget the near traumatic incident.

“Both of you are the same.” his voice was quiet, but it rang with strong implications that horrified Victor. “Of course not.” his voice expressed a harsh tone, with better control on his wavering emotions, Victor tried again “I’m a Pure Vampire, I’ve been alive for so long that my powers have reached their peak, that includes my self control. Urges are not a problem for me.” He gestured at himself, laying a hand over his chest “Vampires had originally been a calm race, before they were isolated, torchered, and killed out of fear. After that, most of us became twisted and scarce; desiring death,” Victor gestured to Yuri “Originally, young vampires were able to look to Pure Vampires to guide them to a peaceful way of life.” He hoped the explanation would lighten things.

Yuuri’s eyes glanced down to his lap, a pensive mood arose his expression “How did you know I was in trouble?”

“I could smell Yuri’s scent, something had been off, and I thought of you. I got so scared, and I...” The guilt of it all was blooming further in his chest, he cradled tea in his lap to hide the vulnerable tremble among his fingers. The very thought of losing Yuuri scorched his fragile heart “I’m so sorry for all of this.”

The tense expression on Yuuri’s face remained, a troubled look arose in his eyes, his lips pressed tight in anxiety. The observations Victor picked up only fed his fear of being abandoned, he couldn't help but request a selfish favour “Please stay.” Victor blurted, his cheeks flushed in shame, he just needed more time with Yuuri, even if it was just for one more day. If things were to end, he begged whatever God there was, to give him a better ending with his soulmate. His eyes scanned desperately over Yuuri’s for a sign.

Yuuri shook his head, his face relaxed and a modest smile appeared “Victor, leaving you was never a thought for me.” the assurance calmed Victor, but brown eyes were muddled with hesitancy. He was patient with Yuuri, allowing him all the time he needed to speak again. Once Yuuri’s eyes were clear of doubt, his actions were followed up with Yuuri stretched out his hand as an offer for Victor. Without a second thought, the vampire reached out to intertwine their fingers “Yuri did scare me, but I understand that none of it was done out of malice, and I trust you enough to know you’re not dangerous.” There was logic in his words, but the lingering scent of fear was still emitting.

Another breath was taken, a beginning to another additional string of words “I’m glad to have met you.” Yuuri’s voice was hushed and he felt nervous with his words. Victor's neck flushed from the unexpected reveal, but it was hard to decide between celebrating this new information or to worry over the ambiguous direction their conversation was headed to. Would Yuuri stay or go?

If Victor had the choice, he would have thrown everything away to return as a mortal. To be human again. This was the price for being sentient, he wanted what he could never have with Yuuri; To share a life together until death. Death would never take Victor, his existence was the untouchable enemy to it.

Yuuri retracted his hand only for Victor’s grip to linger before it became evident that it was time to let go. “So,” Yuuri ventured, taking silence as an opportunity to voice his thoughts. He fidgeted a little when he spoke again “This is all new to me, and I get the feeling it's the same for you.” With the issue cleaned and finished, Yuuri wanted to change the direction of their conversation; to lighten the mood. A tense atmosphere didn’t help with his anxiety, and he wanted this simmering fear in his gut to fade away as soon as possible.

Victor still seemed slightly uneasy where the conversation was going but nodded for him to continue. His fingers stilled from their fidgeting.  
“I don't know if I can believe that we’re soulmates, I’m not even sure if I’ve ever been in love.” Yuuri’s ears were red, and Victor’s heart was sinking “But I like the idea of getting to know each other more.” The expression on Yuuri’s face was hard to read, but it was possible Victor simply chose to feign ignorance. Yuuri’s words were telling him that everything was fine, he needed to believe that.

“Thank you.” Victor mumbled, having to take a moment to slow down his sinking heart, he words tasted like a lie. He wanted to ask what was wrong, and what he could do to remedy this. It was too soon for this to end.

Yuuri nodded and waited until the mood settled for the final time. They took their time and effort towards simple conversation but it all seemed to fall into failure, there was a line drawn between them. Something had shifted and now everything had become messy and chaotic. This wasn't how things were supposed to go. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So next chapter should be coming out March 3rd, or 4th 2017.
> 
> Next chapter is much lighter in themes, and you learn some new info about Victor and vampires. Any guesses to Yurio and Victor's pasts? I've given everyone a pretty angsty background.
> 
> Let me know what you think so far, it's been a while since I've dabbled into angsty writing. You can drop a comment here, or even my tumblr if you want: https://lacycandy.tumblr.com/


	4. Vestigial

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for the late chapter, I'm afraid the combination of my personal issues, social problems, and large amounts of school forced me to take a break. Nevertheless, I solved most of it, and this chapter became 7000 words long so I hope it makes up for the late submission. The next chapter should come out next week, so please drop a comments, I'd love to talk to my readers. Or even stop by my tumblr https://lacycandy.tumblr.com/
> 
> Thanks for being patient, and I'm sorry for being late.

The weekend was a slow appearance. Light drifted in and settled inside with the dust, moving in sync with the sun as the day progressed forward. It was when the light reached Yuuri’s face did his consciousness begin to shake off the remaining bits of sleepiness. Sometimes he wished he woke up in his hometown, Hasetsu, where things were simple and easy.

 _“Fuck.”_ The words stamped into his mind without offering a chance to stop it. Somehow his relationship with Victor had become messy, just like his previous ones. He had hoped Victor would be the exception, now he was stuck trying to figure out how things could end for them.

First relationships were a false disguise of something pleasant. The novelty of it dies and they never work out. When Yuuri had been 13, he was asked out by a fellow classmate, a girl. Never had he expected for people to feel that way towards him, mostly because there wasn't much about him that was particularly extremely charming. He wasn't tall, he wasn't rich, and he wasn't attractive. Nothing about him was really memorable. Naturally when a girl showed interest in him, he was eager to accept which was a horrid mistake. Being an introvert, he enjoyed his time alone to relax, but his girlfriend insisted on texting him everyday, every minute, and every hour of the day because she was an extreme social hermit. At first his friends teased him for how lovey dovey they were, but they even voiced their concern over his relationship. Another month passed and the pressure of her clinginess, he met with her, proceeded to explain that it was his fault that their relationship was ending in hopes of sparing her feelings. The guilt of it carried in his chest, but it was incredibly liberating to leave the relationship. Yuuri hoped for the best for her.

The dream of a pleasant first relationship had been ruined.

Second relationships were always a little difficult to get into. They were good, but had a shorter shelf life if something was off. Yuuri’s second relationship was with the same gender. A male. It happened when his voice cracked often, he was approaching 15. It lasted a month. The mess that ensued was painful. It had been someone he met and became friends with. They asked him out. He said yes.

Another horrible mistake.

The first sign of dread sunk when ‘I Love You.’ was dropped within week one of dating by his boyfriend. Again. Yuuri wasn't one to suddenly turn his back to people, instead, he tried to explain that falling in love with someone after dating for a week was unrealistic, to throw the words around like candy made those words lose their effect; the treasured words would no longer contain any semblance of sincerity. Of course, his boyfriend disagreed with Yuuri and continued their reckless outbursts of love. It was a forceful gesture of affection, but none of it felt natural or comfortable to Yuuri, it felt so artificial. The relationship was dropped like a hot potato once a month passed, and they agreed to remain as friends just like before, but it wasn't over. Yuuri had yet to bare the worst of what was to come. His ex began to date someone else. Their newfound love was known to be manipulative, and favored stringing along a variety of males for their pleasure. Yuuri felt a need to voice his concerns to his ex, not wanting to see them be toyed with by someone who obviously didn’t care for other people's feelings.

What a terrible decision.

His ex told his object of affection what Yuuri said about them. Public humiliation ensued, the person kicked Yuuri into the spotlight to yell about the ‘terrible’ things that he had said about them, going as far as to showcase their cell phone; his ex sent a message stating that Yuuri had called them a series of derogatory terms. There was no denying it, the number was his ex's. When confronted, his ex insisted it wasn't their fault, giving the excuse that they were socially inept and were not to be blamed because they were did ‘nothing’ wrong. A part of him broke from this, too raw to stop his protective sister from sprinting into the scene and end it for him.

Mari had been furious when she witnessed her brother's hurt shatter from the betrayal. Thinking back on it now, he could visualize her rage; eyes were cold and her jaw was tense, she looked ready to kill someone with the sharp shape her eyes had taken. She warned his ex to stay away from him, that he had no right to speak, look, and breathe near her brother. The bitterness in Yuuri was large, and he could only bring himself to walk away in silence, telling his ex that he never wanted to see him again by turning his back on them. They still saw each other in school, but his ex seemed to have understood to never approach him or meet his eyes. However, he stared whenever Yuuri wasn’t looking in his direction. But Yuuri was aware of his eyes catching his ex from the corner of his eyes. When they graduated, Yuuri couldn't wish him well, he couldn’t tell his ex how much they hurt him in fear of the horrible memories flooding back, he refused to take the risk of breaking down on what was supposed to be a day of celebration.

Third relationships were a gamble, at least for Yuuri. ‘Third times the charm’, or so people said. It was supposed to be the 'right' relationship. Meeting Victor seemed a little too good to be true, the classy smile and smoothly pleasant movement he carried had charmed Yuuri. Victor was a prince. Victor wasn't a social hermit, he was warmly personal, and he wasn't cowardly selfish, he was upright in character. First impressions were important, and Victor scored perfectly. Victor’s appearance and charisma formed a breathtaking kaleidoscope, and Yuuri had been too caught up with the dream of it. He failed to comprehend the dangers of being with such an anomaly. The vampirism was a stretch but it was hard to deny the sudden markings on his wrist, the change in Victor’s eye colour, and the attack was the final round that shattered his illusion he surrounded himself in. Reality broke the bubble filled with fantasy. With all of it crashing down, he had been avoiding Victor, replying only to texts since they occurred once every other week with the inquiry of his wellbeing. It had been several weeks since they talked. Oddly enough there was no guilt, only a sense of impending separation. There were signs, the mark he shared with Victor would occasionally disappear before reappearing; it reminded him of a flickering candlelight; growing and dying depending on the wind. Luckily for Yuuri, the markings didn't give him any trouble when he was at school or work; it seemed that no one could see it except for Victor and himself.

Yuuri had given this firsts, showed personal parts of himself, and had learned from the train wreck of relationships, what to avoid and be more responsible with trusting people. He was grateful for these lessons even if he felt like he could have prevented them from ending so terribly. None of it prepared him to date a vampire, and he doubted there were books for it.

A text arrived and Yuuri hesitated from getting up from his bed. Today he had no school and work had been cancelled, it would have been acceptable to say he was asleep. His lips flattened against his pillow, it wouldn't be right to ignore it if it was a friend. His arm stretched for the night table for his phone. The bright light strained his eyes. It was Victor. His thumb hovered above the off button. Yuuri’s uneasiness had reached its peak and everything was frustratingly ambiguous. If he took the time to meet with Victor to clear things up, perhaps things would return to normal. A clear answer needed to be given, and he needed to braver today. Shaky breaths were taken, Yuuri went through various recitations of different greetings, something to take the edge off of his anxiety.

 

**To: Victor**

**Can we meet for a bit?**

 

**From: Victor**

**Of course. What place? I'm not doing much today so the time isn't an issue.**

 

**To: Victor**

**The park around 2pm**

* * *

The arrival of spring was nearing, fluffy chunks of snow were transitioning into icy slush, slowly creating a gray tone within the city now that the white tones had melted. It was still cold enough to encourage him to wear his warm boots and scarf. Laces were tied carefully, Yuuri counted down the minutes to ensure he wouldn't be late. Normally, a good private place would be his apartment; but after their last interaction, Yuuri wasn't in the mood for compromising his own safety. A park was public with people but quiet enough to have a serious conversation. It was just a precaution.

His thick coat slowed his movements but he managed to tie the final pair of laces before he headed to the main elevator of his floor, nodding at an elderly lady who exited it with her small dog. He was thankful the lady wasn't in the mood for small talk today, typically she favored the topic about herself. The quiet solitude of the elevator helped him reflect how his regular life was within reach if he and Victor decided to become strangers again, but he couldn’t help wonder if that was what both of them wanted; Victor would want to stay together, but Yuuri was at a crossroads of where his desires were.

Reaching the final floor, he exited the building and the cold temperature made his skin shiver. Somewhere during the walk towards the park, the heavy pungent smell of the streets invaded his nose and clung to him, it’s heavy musk reminded him of a time when he was younger; he fought with his sister over who would walk the dog and they fell into a puddle of sewage water before they bursted out in laughter of the absurdity. Mari was a calm sort of person, she often gave him advice growing up, and always encouraged him to be braver. If he could confide to Mari regarding his set of circumstances, he imagined she would pinch his nose and say he needed to follow his gut, that he shouldn’t let his fears and anxieties ruin him.

No one knew of vampires, but he did and he wasn’t sure if he could ever really forget the peculiar case of meeting Victor. A cheeky grin came along his face when he recalled how they met. A strong creature of the night accidentally passing out in the middle of the road only to be saved by someone ordinary like him; a poor college student. It was difficult to imagine Victor as dangerous before his attack, the vampire seemed too endearingly silly.

The bright mood muddled down and his steps slowed; Which one was the real side of Victor? The sentimental romantic, or the inhuman predator? Was he just a meal to Victor? Were all those sweet words and kind gestures a part of the purpose of playing with him before being consumed? Possibilities ran a wild in his thoughts, but none of them felt right. Yuuri distracted himself by playing an app on his phone, to distract himself from the sudden rush of anxiety, he needed to talk to Victor before he could make assumptions.

After a few more turns, he saw the snow covered scenery with its many benches and monuments. It was hard to miss Victor, his hair was silver starlight, catching the eyes of many as he waited beside the small fountain. Eye contact ensued, Victor smiled and waved, and Yuuri gestured for the dry bench near the river instead of approaching him. A quiet spot where no one would take notice of unless he screamed. Both sat side by side, but not enough to be touching. All Yuuri could do was stare down at the ground to calm his clustering thoughts. All of his words jumbled and got stuck in his throat, choking him. At least his glasses were fogged from his breathing, making it easier to cover up the exhibition of his conflicted thoughts, he wanted to keep everything simple.

“I’m glad you’re doing well.” Victor admitted, turning his head to meet eyes “Have you been busy?” his soft eyes looked over Yuuri in careful observation.

They both knew the answer, the past while had consisted of a lot of free time. “Not really.” Yuuri wasn’t sure how to approach the awkward gap in their relationship, so he risked sounding rude to hint that there was an issue at hand that needed to be dealt with. Fingers were nipped by the passing wind, and Yuuri curled his fingers trembled against his knees. “I’ve been...thinking.”

Victor took a wavering breath, it was hard to miss the the dejection in his eyes when they looked away; he wasn’t going to make any progress if he didn’t attempt to communicate properly.Living in ignorance would have prevented all of this messy pain, to never find out about Victor. The fantasy of it was easy to imagine, but Yuuri understood that all of it would have eventually led him to the same place; Victor scaring him, and Yuuri wanting to avoid reality. It was inevitable for the truth to arise.

Before he could apologize and explain himself for his answer, Victor caught him off guard with his next words “No matter what happens after this, I’ll be okay.” his face was smoothly sculpted, a flawless combination of strong features that somehow seemed delicate like ice. It was a face that would be clear and forever young. “Living for so many years has taught me to be durable. I know that my race is portrayed as fearless monsters, and I acknowledge there is a grain of truth to it, my kind can be dangerous. My pupil for example, is very weak since he’s young but is stronger than many humans.”

Yuuri’s fingers dug further into his knees, digging into the skin as his heart began to tremble “Why are you telling me this?” He had been prepared to never see Victor again after this, but it felt like the first step into that direction had escalated to free falling, he was sinking and drowning. Something was wrong with him, Victor wasn't trying to make up excuses and win him back. Even if he was given the most obvious lie, Yuuri was willing to take it and lie to himself. The heavy panic in his gut wasn’t prepared or ready to say goodbye yet, he needed Victor’s reasoning to help himself find ground and direction.

“After what happened, I knew you were afraid, that’s why I hugged you. So you wouldn’t run away. I could smell the fear wafting off of you.” Victor’s eyes stared down at the endless stream of water that flowed down the river, his voice sounded oddly distant despite being within close proximity “Being alive for so long made me so desperate for company. I forgot something important.” he paused to wet his lips, it was preparation for a significant blow that both had successfully avoided thinking about “My life has no end, but yours does. And...” Victor chewed his lip for a moment before continuing “You might get hurt by other vampires.”

“But you wouldn’t hurt me,” The words fit and settled nicely in Yuuri’s head, his words were truthful, and he wanted to stop the falling sensation that took hold of his legs.

“I’m capable of it. Others are. And you’re afraid of what I am.” Victor replied with the brutal honesty of what Yuuri felt. Fear was a large factor for this entire mess, but wasn’t so much being afraid of him, it was the fear of being human “Humans have the life of a firefly compared to vampires, I want you with me, but I know I shattered the delicate trust between us, repairing it would be a waste of your limited life.”

“I don’t want to say goodbye.” Yuuri’s voice teetered on the edge of shouting as it was desperate for everything to stop so he could properly articulate his thoughts before Victor slipped through his fingers.

The sudden outburst silenced and caught Victor’s attention, his crystal eyes glimmered with curious blue “Well I do.”

Yuuri took a deep breath to calm the accelerating beat in his chest, he counted before he voiced he needs “Does the marking mean nothing then?” Yuuri was trying to grasp any strands to keep Victor from saying goodbye.

Victor shook his head “It has meaning, but it isn’t a mark of ownership or destiny.”

“Then what is it?”

The silence that followed was frustrating, until Victor seemed to understand they weren’t going anywhere if honesty wasn’t a priority “Possible matrimony. It disappears when you want it to.” his voice dragged, it was clear he was uncomfortable with explaining the symbolism “Others can have them.”

As much as it hurt to hear that, Yuuri wasn’t sure he was getting the full story “How many can share the same mark as me?”

“One exists at a time. But I’m quite used to living without one, I’ve only met one other person who had the mark and that was many years ago.”

It was good news to know that Victor wasn’t living in solitude, to know that he didn’t need Yuuri and just desired to be with him made all the difference. The pressure to stay wasn’t as heavy, and his thoughts cleared up a little more “Did you love your first?” there was one last detail to know about Victor.

The man nodded with a soft smile “Yes, but he didn’t.”

Curiosity arose and his words blurted out “What happened with your last soulmate?” he cursed himself for being insensitive “Don’t answer that. Sorry.” He needed to be more careful of his questions.

“I don't mind.” Victor chuckles, not quite bothered by Yuuri’s impulsive question. His fingers rubbed over his chin as Victor seemed to be recalling the memory “Some details are fuzzy since it's been around 400 years ago… The man I had grown to love was sweet and honest. A gentle giant,” Victor’s eyes closed, lips turned with affection “We became close very quickly after meeting in a church. Out of foolishly young curiosity, I fed from him to confirm whether or not we were soulmates. We were.”

Seeing the tender flow of emotions over someone else made a part of Yuuri sting and curl from the sight. As much as Victor treated him with romantic gestures, Yuuri never saw Victor so vulnerably enamored with the thought of another, it was uncomfortable to see it so close.

Slowly, fingers fell away from his chin and back to his lap “Being a very young vampire, I failed to properly contemplate his reaction. Things did not end well.”

“But you two were soulmates.” Yuuri was confused with himself, unsure what he was trying to do by reiterating the whole point of soulmates. Perhaps he wanted to hear that soulmates were not always a perfect match, or maybe he wanted soulmates to be meant to be, so that he had no reason to be afraid of what Victor was. He needed this to be simple.

A slow sigh drew from Victor, his head shook in reply “We were. But soulmates are simply two parts of one ancient soul, one mortal and the other, immortal. Both keep each other balanced but both are very independent, they don’t need the other to survive. Most of the time soulmates do result in romance, but it doesn't always work that way.” His eyes returned to the flowing river his eyes were deeply dispirited, his lips quivered for a moment before they remained shut.

“I'm sorry.” Yuuri hushed, able to see that he had opened an old wound by accident.

“Why are you saying sorry? It's been a long time since then, it doesn't hurt anymore.” Victor assured, but Yuuri sensed his words were falsely covering his real feelings

“Someone has to. You deserve that much.” Yuuri almost caught himself leaning back on Victor, and so he pulled away. “This is selfish, but could I think on all of this again? A few more weeks.”

Victor’s eyes darkened to an ocean blue, and his lips pursed together “It is selfish. But I think I may need more time as well, so take whatever time you need.” Victor also pulled away, through he seemed unwilling to do so initially. His intense gaze followed Yuuri as he got up “Are you afraid of me, Yuuri?.” his voice was quiet.

“I am,” Yuuri hesitated to continue before taking an even  breath, he wasn't used to being so direct “But I don't want to be.” If controlling his emotions were possible, Yuuri would gladly kick out the stubborn fear that lingered inside his heart, so that he could accept Victor without any more doubt..

* * *

Returning to his studies and work was surprisingly easy. School was merciless with projects and assignments, but work was relatively easy going and quiet. On a drizzly day, he sorted and scanned borrowed books, pausing at a particular one that centered around relationship advice. As embarrassing as it was, he decided to check it out in hopes of clarifying some more of his complicated thoughts. It was useless rubbish, but it didn't hurt to review chapter 4 _**“Is it WORTH it?”**_ during his spare time.

Classes were dull, and it left him hungry. Sometime after his classics class, he headed to the cafeteria and filled up on whatever was cheap. He settled on an empty chair and table and began to flip through the book he borrowed from the library.

Halfway through the chapter he surrendered and closed the unnecessarily thick guide, sighing at the useless advice the book gave. The advice wasn't bad in the sense that it was written specifically towards women, it was the fact that his partner was a strong vampire and he was a human, and Yuuri wasn't in the mood to watch a terrible franchise about magically glittery vampires in hopes of gaining insight.

“You look tired.” A familiar voice noted, a figure took a seat across Yuuri with a platter of spaghetti.

“Isn't that the trademark of every broke student?” He chuckled to his friend’s question “How’s settling in the dorms?” His friend, Phichit, had called him several days ago about moving into his university’s dorms. Apparently his school offered an international student exchange, one of the perks of being wealthy. Yuuri wasn't bitter about it, it was nice to have someone close attending the same school as him.

His friend gave him a sour face “My roommate gets super cranky when I make a mess. He's alright though.” He took off his baseball cap from the bill on the back of his head, revealing a warmly tanned complexion and straight bangs. Phichit opened his mouth but closed momentarily when he caught sight of Yuuri’s borrowed book. Yuuri attempted to tuck it under his arms but it was too late.

“Why are you reading something like that?” He gestured it with his fork before he stabbed into his noodles, swirling it into a bunch before eating it.

Yuuri searched for an excuse “Project.” A personal project, not for school.

“Yuuri, I know I'm not as dedicated to my studies as you are, but I'm not dumb. Who caught your heart?” Phichit asked with a teasing glance.

 _“A charismatic Vampire who wants to be with me and I'm not sure if I wanna be with him even though I don't like the idea of separating.”_ he thought, but knew better than to actually say it “Not sure if I wanna go out with someone.” He shrugged.

Phichit chewed and swallowed his meatball “Did they hurt you?” The usual light hearted expression on Phichit’s face lessened.

“Not on purpose. They tried to prevent me from getting hurt but they ended up causing it.” Slowly he slipped his book to the edge of the table and onto his his lap.

“If their actions were out of good intentions, why is it hard to forgive them?”

“I…” Yuuri sighed, rubbing his temple with the tips of his fingers “I don't know why.” It might have been because Victor was capable of being dangerous, that he was afraid of reality trying to kill him. “They’ve been really good about everything and I don't know why I'm uncomfortable.”

Phichit’s fork stabbed again into the noodles, swirling and bunching “Do you think it's possible you're afraid of getting to know them? Maybe you don't want to get to know each other because of the bad stuff that comes with the good.”

Yuuri nodded, able to acknowledge Phichit’s suggestions as possibilities. “Do you think they’ll accept my shortcomings?” Sometimes it was difficult to identify his anxiety taking over his rationality, it made it hard knowing and voicing what he wanted to others.

Phichit busted out with mild laughter “Yuuri. Please, I doubt your shortcomings are enough to destroy a romantic relationship.”

His humorous expression and comforting words eased the growing frustration that had formed over the week. “I guess you're right.” All of this convoluted contemplation was giving him a migraine, Yuuri settled with thinking on Phichit’s advice when he got home.

“Just think on it, you're the one with the most knowledge regarding your circumstances.” Phichit then opened his bag and pulled out a heavy looking textbook “Anyways, I need help on the French course, and I know Jean gave you killer study notes!”

To Phichit's luck, he only missed a few days in the second semester of the school year and the possibility of catching up was within realistic standards. Yuuri had spent his first year sharing a dorm with a rather loud Canadian who insisted to be addressed as ‘JJ’ because it was his ‘Style’. He was sort of a jerk. A useful one when Yuuri struggled in his French midterm presentation.

“What do I get?”

“My firstborn I birth.”

The unexpected answer drew out an uncontrolled laugh from his chest, his stomach ached but he felt incredibly relaxed now that his best friend was there to bring light hearted humour back into his life; things had been a little quiet since they separated. It was nice to have a simple and easy moment with a friend.

* * *

Mari told Yuuri that life was going to force him to make hard decisions now that he was adult, and that some choices would change other people and himself. Choosing to stay or leave Victor was one of those complicated situations.

A few more days followed, and eventually gave in to drink off the stress of his projects and personal life.

Often times, sleeping off alcohol resulted in lucid dreams. It seemed tonight was no exception. Tucked under his blanket, Yuuri’s vision blurred into darkness before filling with blobs of coloured, connecting to form a scenery of an endless pool of clear water. Suddenly, he was standing in it, the shallow depth just stopping below his knees, the sky was a pale grey. Looking around, there was nothing but the water, Yuuri walked on in hopes of finding where his dreams would take him, only to cease when he noticed the dark colours that his steps gave. Every step that was taken darkened the water, tainting its clarity and purity. While staring down at the murky water, Yuuri’s reflection rippled and changed to something familiar.

Snow was falling in the scene, the soft touches of snowflakes rested on a graceful figure that laid in the snow. Perhaps it had been because of the bitter cold temperatures, or due to the lack of heat emitted from the unconscious man, but the snow did not melt when it touched pearl skin. Yuuri soon realized that this was a replay of his first encounter with Victor, he couldn't help but wonder if Victor really was an old vampire to have carelessly slept on the streets in the middle of the night. Doubt arrived again, filling his chest with the weight of betrayal, suffocating away the faith he had in Victor. Maybe it was a all a trick for him to trust Victor, an act of sadistic play meant to hurt him despite the genuinity Victor displayed consistently throughout the weeks they had known each other.

The best way to describe the fleeting shift of scenery would be that the ground had disappeared, pulling Yuuri through a layer of water and into another pool of water. It was as if he fell through a mirror and landed into the reflection. Everything was the same. Only this time, he was soaked in water, and the sky was dark, lit by the dancing orbs of light that bounced off the surface of the water. Usually dreams didn't last long for Yuuri, but it seemed he wasn't close to waking up. Getting up from the shallow water, he returned his attention to the reflection below him.

City lights were mostly down, allowing the night sky to express its twinkling stars, the moon appeared without the pesky presence of clouds smothering it, it softly showered the world with its delicate light, placing a gentle veil over the city. Yuuri noted the night had been beautiful, he wondered why he couldn't recall such a rare evening of beauty. A dark alley formed, the reflection zoomed inside to expose the hidden scene. A heaving figure was knocked down by a taller figure. The darkness of the small space couldn't seal away the predatory eyes that burned with intense violet. Fingers had extended nails, and upper fangs were slightly elongated, Victor had been prepared to physically participate in a violent fight. Yuuri’s gut clenched from the visual reminder of Victor’s sinister appearance. Closing his eyes was a safe escape Yuuri had available.

Victor wasn't human. He was a vampire. A different creature. It was natural for Yuuri to experience fear of the unknown, but he had gotten to know a bit of who Victor was, and none of it was unpleasant to the point of being terrifying. His fear was both logical and irrational. Yuuri knew this, and yet he couldn't bring himself to progress from there.

Words echoed and Yuuri opened his eyes to match the words to the source. Yuuri knew one thing; the alley never made his heart shatter like glass. A transparent figure of Victor gazed lovingly to an unfamiliar person with elegant green eyes and short pastel hair, the words repeated again in mockery.

The gender didn't really matter to Yuuri, nor did their appearance, the idea of Victor falling deeply for someone else drowned him in numbness. Pretending wasn't possible anymore. Yuuri wanted Victor by his side, even with the uncertainty of his safety. It was hard to describe his feelings for Victor, it was an irregular form of affection. They were close like friends, but the nature of their bond was more personal. Yuuri wasn’t going to label it as brotherly or platonic because of what he wanted from Victor; to kiss and hold closely. He wanted to try to stay by Victor’s side.

The water slowly rose up, somehow his body refused to float, trapping him in the water’s tranquil embrace as his vision became unfocused and dark.

Daylight peeked through the small crevices in his blinds, and it was quiet when Yuuri’s eyes blinked open. Before it slipped away, Yuuri repeated his dreams to himself to keep the useful insight he gained through his dreams. The migraine and hangover was a price he gladly accepted for his cleared mind.

Trusting Victor as a whole was not the problem. Yuuri had made the mistake of expecting Victor to be perfect and had refused to accept the flaws that came to surface. Instead of connecting the commonalities humans had with vampires, he had invalidated Victor’s thoughts and feelings because of his prejudices. Victor was a person, a really good person that just happened to be a vampire. Yuuri needed to try harder to make this work, he needed to stop running away every time something wrong occurs, being a coward wouldn’t make either of them happy.

* * *

Just because Victor was over 500 years old didn't mean he couldn't sulk on the roof. Mila tried to coax him down to eat some blood she got from the hospital, but his appetite hadn't been very active since his talk with Yuuri.

It was critical to be mature, if he wanted this entire situation to end in the most positive ending, he needed to withhold his own emotions to avoid swaying Yuuri’s decisions. Victor desired for Yuuri to stay close to him without manipulation or guilt tripping, he learned from his past not to push unless he wanted to be burned again. Literally.

But Victor had the right to brood in peace and away from prying eyes; it pained to know that Yuuri was afraid of him, likely due to the media's representation of his kind. The stereotypical life a vampire led was mostly inaccurate. Crosses, garlic, running water, holy water, and sunlight were not weaknesses of his kind, the stake through the heart would kill vampires, but that was applicable to to anything with a heart which didn't count as a real weakness.

Vampires did however, favor large extensions of property, it was proven by the various packs of his kind that did their best to blend with the humans. The reason was subjective, but Victor had a theory; it was safer to have the luxury of forming a close knit community of vampires, isolated from humans—the outsiders; therefore, it was a habit for vampires to want to fit in with humans peacefully but own a safe place to return to without fear of being discovered.

Being one of the first ones to live in the mansion, it was understood that the greenhouse on the roof was his safe haven in the mansion. The grass, flowers, and trees were all results of his gentle care, they were his silent company that would never die so long as he cared for them. Lying on the grass with the Milky Way as his company was comforting in a way, to see nothing but the endless beauty of dotted stars eased his troubles as the grass was his soft pillow. The stars were the keepers of his selfish thoughts. Was it too hard for Yuuri to accept him and see his good intentions with clear eyes? 

Vampires were made by destroying their previous life, leaving them broken and bleeding; the only thing a vampire could look forward to would either be death or their other half; their human half. It was the only thing a vampire could have. Victor was terrified by the prospect of being abandoned by Yuuri, he wished he had been more honest with how he really felt; if Yuuri left him, the chances of finding his next soulmate would be terribly slim due to the large populations of humans distributed around the world.

Soulmates were not the determining factor for happiness. It was a brutal truth for vampires, many of his kind have found love with their own kind or simple finding a group to belong to. However, it was difficult for Victor to take on that mindset; he longed for the intimacy romantic relationships contained, to have a life and the short life humans had. It made every moment all the more important to treasure, to work hard for their relationships, being immortal took that privilege away. Victor loved his friends, but they only knew each other because grouping together was mutually agreed upon, that it was better than wandering alone. Living together was their form of haven. It was safe, trusting, and comfortable to live together, but it lacked the warmth Victor needed to feel.

Victor spent his time in the garden for several days to wait and  prepare for the worst. The most painful part of this entire situation was that if Yuuri decided to stay away from him, Victor wouldn’t be able to fight for him. Vampires were known as creatures that fed from unwilling humans, and it didn't help that most were feral monsters that took pleasure in serial killings, his kind were capable of atrocious things.

If the time came, Victor wondered if he could simply let go and move on. With so much time to himself, Victor struggled but reached to the conclusion that because his life was endless, he certainly would get over it. Healing was a blessing and a curse. If Yuuri left him, his heart would shatter, but the pain would eventually subside, even if he didn't want it to.  A soft chuckle escaped him. Victor had survived the suffering his first soulmate had caused, nothing else could really be worse than being burned alive as a form of rejection. After all, Yuuri didn’t seem to be the type to burn him on a stake and call him a witch. Victor had survived the suffering his first soulmate had caused and he had complete faith that Yuuri wouldn’t do that to him. He was thankful for that at least. Thinking on it now, Victor felt a little more confident with himself. Even if Yuuri said he hated him, it wasn’t the end of the world, it would just be another bump on his endless journey. He still would grieve though.

The winds became warmer, a sign that the season was on the edge of changing, seducing Victor to step out of his garden to breathe in the crisp winter air and feel the warm breeze against his cold skin. It had been too long since the last time the sun shone through winter’s thickly veiled clouds, Victor couldn’t help himself from making himself some warm lemon tea, his feet dangling over the edge of the building. The winter sunrise was gorgeous, but summertime was his favorite, when the sun glowed and shined with an undying determination to bring day to the world, to bring warmth and life. Being left to himself brought a special kind of peace inside his chest, making him feel like he was a part of the scenery, the environment would distract him from thinking about Yuuri too much.

“You spend so much time here, I’m tempted to say you’re not a vampire.” A smoky voice giggled, a mix of rough and sweet tones. Mila.

Victor had committed most of his time pondering about the small and large problems in his past, present, and future; he was starting to get a bit antsy with so much time to himself and found Mila's sudden appearance a welcome change of pace.

“I think you’ve been reading too much of those twilight books.” Victor teased, the very idea of vampires being weak to the sun was ridiculous, many vampires loved the sunlight since it was a pleasant source of heat.

“Hahaha.” The laughter was monotonous, cherry red hair gleamed in the sunlight, it’s wavy nature matching the owner’s personality “As much as I love a handsome man that won’t age, a glittering one is far too flamboyant for me,” His company poured herself a cup of tea, nothing added.

“You just can’t stand another man being prettier than you.” Victor knew where this conversation was headed, but he wasn’t one to refuse friendly company, especially if it was Mila.

“Maybe, I would hate it if my own makeup was outshined by a sparkly fairy.” She leaned on his shoulder, resting her weight on him, it seemed she was going through a tough time. “I know you’re going through your ‘leave me alone I’m in my manhole’ phase, but...” her sigh was coarse, and it was hard to ignore the tired weight in her eyes “Can we talk?”

Victor nodded “Of course.” He was in the mood to converse with someone, and Mila was an easy person to speak with.

Seconds passed by, and Mila started after another sigh “Humans are so lucky. They live with such vigorous emotions because they know their own impending death. Then they reach the peak of their life and it’s like they become a jewel, being carried along the wind before they fade and grow cold. Vampires are stuck as pearls, the longer we live the more stained and dull our view of the world is.” she sipped some more of her tea, halfway finished and her eyes unmoving “I realized something… Why I was turned.”

Victor turned to her, attention fully focused on her words. “Go on.” he encouraged, watching every change in her expression.

Mila’s face was disturbingly calm, most cases of being turned were gory and tragic. It was the kind of tragedy that was life changing and unforgettable. Vampires never shared them, not usually anyway, but sometimes it needs to be talked about “Apparently I was very talented in the arts of ballet, which was why my mentor picked me out from the rest of the orphans. It explained why the founder of russian ballet adopted me, to guide me to the road of a Prima Ballerina Assoluta.” Mila’s voice became soft, not enough to be a whisper “It was a test. To see if I could surpass her. And I did.” she poured the rest of her tea into the air, likely hitting an innocent bystander on the road “She was looking for someone to pass on her vampirism so she could die. That’s why she chose me, because I exceeded her skills and talent. I was just the winner of her systemic test.” Her eyes gleamed but no tears escaped “All that time spent together, her raising me, wasn’t out of motherly love.” Mila slid off of Victor to sit upright and stare down at the city park, watching the small dots of people interact and play “I won’t cry over it, I’m done crying over her, I just need to tell someone, to validate that it was a betrayal.” a slow sigh escaped, likely to rid of the dark emotions inside her chest "Sometimes I wish I could die... but without passing on this wretched burden of living forever, and no stabbing through the heart. "

Vampirism was very similar to what a curse was. Vampires would select a human, and drink them dry of blood before committing suicide by bleeding out on the human. Only then, would the vampire finally succumb to death, leaving the dead human to rise as a vampire. Words of comfort would not make things better, this was a time where empathy was needed “My mother turned me, I was ill, and she wanted to die after her brother turned her. A perfect chance for her to use the excuse of saving her son. An easy escape. My last soulmate takes the cake though.”

“Sounds like an asshole.” Mila commented with a harsh tone, Victor coughing up from her unexpected words “That’s certainly a word that could describe what happened.” Victor refilled his tea, enjoying how his fingers were warming to the temperature "My first soulmate was worse."

  
Mila’s hand searched in her pocket’s contents, bringing out a lighter and cigarette “What did he do?” she placed a cigarette between her teeth as she lit the end.

“Called me a devil for trying to seduce him into being a homosexual, started accusing me of being a witch, and then setting me on fire. The usual sort of rejection.” Victor wasn’t the best at dealing with his own heavy emotions despite having 500  years of living, he never usually got close to people to have emotional moments together. Victor gazed at the peach coloured sun "The worst part of it all, is that he was  so gentle and warm before I drank from him... But after, he became so fearful and violent." it was hard not to blame himself for destroying his first love.

This time, Mila coughed out  wisps of smoke, reminding Victor of a red dragon “Not direct at all,” she cleared her throat “That really fucking sucks.” she breathed through the cigarette, this time it exited her lungs in a smooth spray of fog “Really fucked up with how religion twists people to burn each other alive. Makes them look like the monsters.”

“Yeah. It sort of all sucks, doesn’t it?” they both laughed, sharing their own dark twisted pasts helped ease the loneliness of their troubles.

“Sort of? Victor, I’m pretty sure humans are the worst species out there.” She offered him a cigarette. He took it, and pocketed it for later "Always hurting each other, killing animals to extinction... And so much more."

“And yet, we love them.”

Mila inhaled her cigarette, refusing to exhale this time “Yep. We are human loving freaks. Waiting for our prince charming.”

“Do you think mine will arrive?” he asked.

Mila squeezed his hand “I hope he does, Victor. If he stays, cherish the time you have with him. Better than nothing.”

“Agreed.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... Everyone sorta has a really dark background, but they're all happy now (Or are they???)
> 
> It means a lot for you to read this, and I hope to have your continued support as I work on the next chapter (#WritingAddict)
> 
> Edit: Don't you hate it when you're fanfiction does not update when you upload a new chapter????


	5. Communication

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for the late update. Midterms began and I had two tests every week with a handful of assignments for the past two months. In addition, my personal life has been extremely difficult, but most of it has passed and I am doing better.
> 
> For now I am taking a break from this story and switching to my Baker Au Remissio, To Forgive.
> 
> Thank you so much for reading, and once again, I am so sorry for updating so late! Thank you for all the comments so far, they really help me through stressful times by knowing that the story is enjoyable.
> 
> Please enjoy, and you'll see me soon again! <3
> 
> Ps. Love you.

Every child outgrows their toys. Two things may happen when the time arrives; they are forgotten in the corners of the attic, or thrown away. This can be applied to pets. Owners grow bored of their pet, or the owners pass on, resulting in the animal transferring to a shelter. Left to await death or a new family. The city where Victor resided in was known for their appreciation for all kinds of dogs, which left the cats in a rather unfortunate shadow. Locked away from homes, awaiting a hopeless and bitter future In many ways, Vampires were the same; no longer wanted or needed by the masses–humankind, simply because they were misunderstood.

Finding Yuri Plisetsky was a relatively easy task. Mostly because he had predictable behavior and struggled with disguising his scent distinct scent, but Victor did allow some time to pass before he confronted Yuri. The shelter was familiar to Victor, his mansion occasionally fostered a cat from there, so most of the cats didn't mind his presence when he entered the large room. In fact, a few strolled up to rub against his legs. Most, however, centered around a hunched teenager that sat in the corner, focused on his phone while music blared in his earbuds; though Victor debated whether or not hard metal should be considered ‘music’.

Things were fragile between Victor and Yuri, but they needed to discuss the issue without things getting out of hand, which would prove to be difficult because of the very real risk of Yuri’s temper flaring. Victor placed his faith in the action of sitting beside him, careful to avoid tripping over a cat, aware of the rising tension in Yuri’s muscles. Two cats managed to crawl into Victor’s lap, quickly cuddling against him in peaceful sleep, he gently stroked their heads and back. One was a completely grey tabby, and the other a pitch black.

Victor couldn't help but revel in the pleasant feel of their fur, how soft and warm they felt against his fingers. Aside from the faint smell of waste mixed with cat litter, the room had a tranquil atmosphere.

“Why are you here?” A soft growl escaped from the blonde teenager, earbuds still on his ears but no longer playing music. “Don't you have something better to do with your stupid human?”

Yuri’s words had unintentionally stabbed into Victor’s stomach, twisting slowly with their sharpness. “We…” he chewed his lips, focusing his attention on the silky texture of the cats “...Aren't really talking at the moment.” His voice was successfully kept smooth and light, Victor wanted to avoid increasing Yuri’s guilt by reducing the weight of his words. There was enough of it simmering in the young boy, shown through Yuri’s young skin that had become dull and dried, blotched with red and brown streaks; the effects of living on the streets for a stretched period of time without the aid of showering.

“Sorry.” Yuri’s apology was a tight hush, and his fingers tightly clenched over his knees. Green eyes were staring down at one of the marmalade coloured kittens. It was good that he apologized despite forgiving him already for Yuuri’s attack.

“These things happen.” Victor assured, wanting to lighten the heavy guilt that was beginning to overflow Yuri’s heart. A young vampire like him had enough emotional wounds to deal with, he didn’t need to file Victor’s troubles as one of his faults.  

“The fuck they do.” Yuri finally snapped, the sound of squeezed plastic escaped his hand, his fingers were white as they gripped his phone. “It's my fault. You know it, I know it, and so does everyone else.” his green eyes flared and trembled with anger, unable to quite control his anger.

“Yuri…” Victor started, turning to him in hopes of connecting to Yuri’s emotional turmoil “No one’s blaming you, if anything, I should have-”

“Fucking leave it, Victor.” Yuri hissed. He pulled himself closer to the corner, away from Victor, glaring down at Victor’s attempt to comfort him “It’s better if you just leave me alone. Right now...”

It was hard witnessing Yuri pull away from Victor, he just wanted to support him, to check on him after the ‘accident’. Obviously the damage was far worse than he anticipated, Yuri was blaming himself for this, when really it had been his own fault for neglecting his responsibilities. “That's not true.” Victor comforted, his voice was a patient soother to the coarse air, cutting and dissipating the heaviness; only to fail.

“Don't pretend you actually care.” The words were spat out and burned through the floors, even the cats separated from Yuri, sensing his growing agitation. The two cats on his lap quickly scattered, away from where the sharp voices raised.

“I do care, and I know you do too. This isn't your fault. What happens, happens, and it just so happens to be this.” Clearly the directness of his words weren't effectively reading Yuri as Victor scanned his expression, deciding to settle on a more roundabout approach. “After being alive for so long, I knew this would happen eventually; Yuuri would realize the danger of being around me. I’ve been prepared for this, for him to leave… It’s not uncommon for it to happen.”

“...What?” Yuri squinted at him, unsure what Victor was going on about. Finally, he caught the attention of the stubborn youth.

Victor offered a strained smile “Originally, I wanted this all to be like a fairytale. I find my prince, and we live happily ever after. But I know that's unfair to expect of Yuuri.” A sigh accidentally escaped him “I… want Yuuri to stay with me, and we could both work hard to make our relationship work. I know separating would be a kinder decisions... To give him the chance to find someone to love and grow old with, and for me to find comfort with what I already have.” A dry laugh escaped him, it was quiet, empty, and seemed to burn him “God, I want to be selfish and keep him by my side.” 

Victor couldn't help himself from reaching out and messing up Yuri’s hair with his fingers “The mistakes I made, and the people I hurt in the past has led me to find others. I have companions I can trust and lean on now, and I’m grateful. The same applies to you too.” 

Yuri kept silent, staring away at the remaining cats that lingered close by. Subtle clenches occurred in his jaw and fingers, but he didn't reject Victor despite the ride of his emotions. It was still too soon for Yuri to properly communicate with his words, the trauma of being ripped away from everything he had was still too tender to touch. “You better not be lying.” He grumbled, shaking off Victor’s hand, his cheeks tinting.

“Course not.” Victor replied, amused by Yuri’s sudden embarrassment of his sincere words; a delightful reminder of how young and hopeful his apprentice was. Younger people had the advantage of recovering faster than old withered souls like Victor. No matter what was in the future, Victor had a funny feeling that he would survive. With time, no matter how large of a piece of his heart he would lose, time would provide him chances to fill it again. Joy doesn’t last forever, but neither did pain.

“Victor…”

“Yes?”

A dark cat stepped closer in curiosity, having woken up from a nap, and happily jumped into Victor’s lap when Victor stroked its cheek. The gentle nature of it’s eyes reminded him of Yuuri, and Victor found his heartache flare again in his chest. If only Yuuri was sleeping on his lap, his fingers would comb through his straight hair before trailing down his neck, and he would lean down to press his affection over his face.

“What's so good about soulmates?”

Victor perked up, his teeth poked through in eagerness to answer “To make us feel human again.”

“But we aren't human. At least not anymore” Yuri huffed in correction, frustrated with how convoluted the concept of soulmates.

“That's true,” Victor nodded with acknowledgment “But we used to be, and we still feel deeply, even if it's all stretched, blurred and dulled from time. Being with our human halves bring back the lost passion in us. It’s...” he thought how what it felt like to be around Yuuri, the way his presence and voice was enough to soothe Victor; he searched for the one word that described the way Yuuri made him feel “...comforting for us.”

“So basically, vampires are just thirsty fucks for attention.” Yuri’s eyebrow raised, his lips pursed together in disdain.

“For company, and happiness? Yes.” Victor explained,about to continue before he caught sight of something unusual and unexpected on a patch of skin; a sort of sign that was unmistakable to his eyes “Yuri… Is that a soulmark?” He couldn't quite comprehend what he was seeing, the red triangle with the simply design of a blue bird in the center was a new addition on skin. 

“No, my skin can just magically form random annoying shapes cause I’m a fucked up mutant.” Yuri rolled his eyes, hands being shoved into his pocket to return to listening his music. Victor grabbed his wrist to stop him, he needed to know one more answer, and his heart was fluttering from the exciting indications “Who–” the sound of Victor’s phone buzzed and rang with a specific tune reserved for one person. Yuuri. It seemed Yuuri had made his decision.

“I have to go.”Victor looked to Yuri, eyes locked tight as he felt hope for the young teen “But, I’ll be right back, and we’re going to celebrate back at the house.” Yuuri was his priority at the moment, but Yuri still had to explain who his other half was. Victor hoped that when he returned to the mansion, they would have two reasons to throw a large celebration.

Yuri clicked his tongue, his eyes rolled at the uncertain nature of Victor’s promise “Don't count on it, you’ll just forget.” His words never reached his mentor, Victor had already dashed out the door with his eyes fixated on his phone’s screen. However, it was difficult for Yuri to hold it against Victor. The human soulmate of a vampire was the only salvation they had to being mortal again, discovering the chance of being close to another human made promises of companionship and nostalgia. 

After being betrayed and turned, Yuri couldn't avoid daydreaming about his soulmate, left in wonder as to if it was possible for him to recall his human past without the pain. It was difficult to determine if finding his other would be a blessing or a burden, to witness their aging and death through a slowly drawn end. A human soulmate was fleeting for vampires, they always left a vestige of their existence in the forms of memories. For now, he wouldn't pursue his soulmate, to test and see if fate would organize their paths to meet again. Plus, he didn't quite keep track of which people he fed from, leaving the identity of his soulmate an ambiguous blur, allowing Yuri the luxury of imagining who his other half.

Whoever it was, Yuri wanted to wait and see if Victor succeeds in winning Yuuri’s heart, so that he could decide what his next action would be.

* * *

 

A small dog happily sat on his owner’s lap, eagerly awaiting for any movement that indicated the continuation of their walk but found itself content with resting on a comforting lap. His owner’s breath sometimes got shaky, but would settle when they stroked his fur, the dog was more than happy to comfort his owner through petting. Beforehand, he had been stuck in a small town with Yuuri’s family, awaiting for the time when he would reunite. The dog was deeply grateful to Yuuri’s sister, taking the initiative to bring him to Yuuri. 

“What if it's too late, Vicchan?” The words were shaky and tangled when they were spoken. Fingers stroked over the dog’s ear, a small voice was filled with fear and doubt. Yuuri tried to wish away his anxiety through various techniques, but not a single one dulled the sharp suffocation in his body. Sitting by himself during the evening allowed his thoughts to further encourage his anxieties to take root. Victor had agreed to meet, but perhaps he changed his mind because he was tired of being pushed away while Yuuri had asked him to wait. If Yuuri had been born with a more proper attitude, he wouldn't have wasted so much precious time with his own confused thoughts. There was so much he had yet to know about Victor, and it burned to know that this would be how it ended because of his inability to make decisions.

A bark escaped his dog, and it called for Yuuri to see what caught his dog’s attention. A pale figure stood in front of him, starlight hair decorated a handsomely formed frame, and sapphires were worn as a pair of eyes. “Victor…” Yuuri felt his fears disappear in the form of smoke; dissipating from existence as reality promptly corrected his fears.

A soft smile appeared “Lovely day, isn't it?” Victor greeted, happy to reunite despite his weaker smile and avoiding eye contact. Usually, Victor’s eyes would glimmer with bright with greeting, but somehow it was more dulled, hesitant almost.

A breathless laugh escaped him, Yuuri didn’t want to think about Victor’s lackluster expression “Yeah. It is… want to take a seat?” He offered, finding his heart skip a few beats, the sudden bloom of relief was warm and exhilarating; a rare type of feeling Yuuri embraced.

Victor gratefully accepted the offer, smoothly to seating himself beside Yuuri, finding Yuuri’s dog endearingly sweet. Vicchan happily crawled between them, sniffing at Victor in suspicion before he nuzzled against his fair skin in approval.

“I never knew you liked poodles, a new pup?” Victor asked, fingers gently massaging the dog’s forehead, becoming quickly enamored with the canine as Vichan licked his hand and leaned closer. The sight of his dog approving Victor father loosened the right coil around Yuuri’s chest, to know that his dog thought Victor was a good person helped a lot in calming his doubts regarding his decision.

“Oh, um… No, my sister surprised me with him. My family lives in Japan, and since she was visiting to see me, she thought to bring Vicchan over to me since I haven't seen him in years.” Looking back on his precious pet brought a pleasant wave of nostalgia, sinking through his skin, as he recalled how much more smaller Vicchan was when they first met “It's been too long since I saw him, and my family.”

Had this been any other day, Victor would inquire why Yuuri left his native country if he had a loving family to miss, but he needed his answer soon and placed his curiosity aside. “Yuuri.” He reached towards Yuuri’s hands, but paused and settled on to simply stroking fluffy fur “I hope you can forgive me for rushing, but…” Victor wet his lips nervously before he finally summoned the courage to meet eyes “...May I have the answer?” Asking so directly felt uncomfortably vulgar and rude, but that was perhaps due to the lack of patience, being so close to the final conclusion. 

Yuuri’s breathing stiffened, his eyes widened and settled with staring down at the ground “Of course.” He replied, his fingers began to fidget against his knees “I’ve never done this before, and I don't know how to deal with this entire… ‘thing’, but…” he paused, chewing his lip in search of the correct wording to express his feelings “... I’d like to try, with you I mean.” The words felt right, they didn't sink or float, but rested nicely in the air. “Thinking on it, I expected a perfect person from you, but I realized… that wasn't fair to you.”

As much as Victor was ecstatic to hear Yuuri willing stick by him, he had crucial detail to ask of before celebration could take place, he wanted this to work out, and clarifying certain questions was vital “But are you afraid of what I am?”

It took a moment, but Yuuri gave his answer after a few seconds “At first I was, but after a little while, i was just using that as an excuse to hide from you.” Yuuri paused before he added “I didn't want you to see my shortcomings, all of my thoughts were jumbled together and I'm sorry it took so long.” It was hard opening himself up so much, to express his feelings and thoughts in a straightforward manner.

Victor listened intently, and found himself saddened by the look of conflict that twisted Yuuri’s expression “Don't be sorry. If it's messy, it's important to take your time deciding what's best for your life, you have that right.” He assured with a soft voice, familiar with the consequences of diving impulsively into serious problems. Of course it never stopped Victor’s desire for companionship, but he knew that it was vital to avoid rushing Yuuri; waiting wouldn't kill him.

Yuuri’s expression lost large parts of its tightness, leaving a withered pair of eyes and tight lips “I…” he took a moment to breathe out the anxiety that knotted his lungs “... Being with you intimidates me sometimes, but I think it’s mostly because I don’t know you… To be truthful, when I think of you with someone else…” Yuuri struggled to find the right words to accurately reflect his emotions “It sucks, it makes me feel terrible if I'm not the person you love. I want to work for this, so that I have the right to be with you knowing every part of you.”

A hand slid over Yuuri’s inching just into this palm to curve  around his hand “I'd like that very much.” Victor agreed, eyes glimmering with joy, while the tone of his voice remained a delicate version of the ever growing desire to share an embrace with Yuuri. Victor’s eye flickered his hand and pulled away, offering an apologetic look which only confused Yuuri.

“For both of us to learn about one another, that sounds like a perfect start.” Despite his list of experiences in life Victor had never really considered the possibility of both sides of a relationship taking and giving, not because of his dislike for it, the problem was that it never occurred to him. Being so devoid of human contact and intimacy, he might have been affection starved.

Victor’s strokes in Vicchan’s fur halter to a stop, Yuuri had stroked over his dog’s head before it slipped over Victor’s, his fingers gently intertwined with the vampire. The sensation of Yuuri reaching out for him was surreal, and it enforced his impossible wish to never let go of this hand that accepted him, and yet, he was afraid to tighten his grip with Yuuri’s hand. 

Victor was overjoyed to have finally found someone who accepted him for what he was, to get past the fear coloured lenses the world had created towards his kind. Asking for anymore would have been too greedy “Thank you, Yuuri.” Victor's heart continued a strong beat, wavering with his thoughts _“This is enough for me.”_

* * *

Things between them returned to simple meetings, it wasn't immediate. Victor had been actively texting him, while Yuuri replied when he had time outside of work and study, eventually they began to meet up for a quick meal and walk. Both sides were more open and honest this time, but there was a lingering sense of distance Yuuri felt. Initially, he shrugged it off as his anxiety getting to him, but he indulged in observing his interactions with Victor in hopes of finding reasons to ignore his uneasiness. They still intertwined fingers, but it was always Yuuri that initiated it. Victor would rarely accept it, as if waiting for Yuuri to change his mind. On the rare day of feeling brave, Yuuri would lean to kiss Victor, only to witness Victor flinch and pull away. 

It seemed as though Victor was hesitant to get physically close to him now. Narrowing down to the specific reason was terribly frustrating, it made his thoughts cling to the issue despite the urgency of his deadlines for assignments. Victor hasn't done anything particularly bad, he conversed with Yuuri, and respected him, but there was something about Victor never reaching out to him that threw Yuuri into a state of anxiety. Problems still lingered in their relationship even though the storm had passed, and the cause of it seemed to root from Yuuri. Perhaps, if he hadn't been so indecisive with Victor, he wouldn't feel so distant from him. Logically, he understood his reactions were natural to his situation, but Yuuri couldn't avoid the tugs of guilt in his chest.

His uneasiness was urging him to act, to somehow fix everything for the final time. Yuuri felt his guilt clash with what he wanted to do; he could apologize or ask Victor to forgive and forget Yuuri for rejecting him, but both options worsened his guilt for speaking from a more selfish direction. Maybe Victor simply lost the desire to touch him, but something about that seemed off, it didn't fit into Victor’s straightforward character. 

An iPhone rattled with the sound of chimes, alarming him to wake up despite having been awake for quite some time. Vicchan groaned against Yuuri’s chest, tightly curled against him in sleep before he settled to the side of the bed when Yuuri sat up from his bed. Shutting off the alarm, he wiped his cold nose due to the low temperature of his apartment; a sacrifice of keeping his heating bills low during winter. Yuuri noticed a text from his close friend, Phichit. A large portion of Yuuri’s morning was spent pondering his relationship with Victor, he decided  getting up to socialize would take his mind away from his anxiety and if the opportunity allowed it, Phichit may provide him with insight. 

**From: Phichit**

**Yoyoyoyo! Wanna hook me up with those dank notes for Math class? ;)**

**Pls save me Yuuri I'm desperate for help, our teacher scares me after the butt incident!!!**

**> A<**   
  


The unfitting language caught Yuuri by surprise and forced a chuckle to bubble out. His dog perked up, looking at him with shining eyes, pleased to hear the sound of laughter breaking Yuuri’s silence. Phichit somehow found their professor intimidating despite being a very open minded adult. Professor Giacometti was relatively known for his exuberant and flamboyant lifestyle, so much so there was often a cloud of scandalous rumors which were almost always 90% percent wrong. Quickly, he texted his friend back to meet.

**To: Phichit**

**Sure, I got a little issue I might need some help with if you don't mind once we finish up on studying.**

A reply quickly returned after a minute.

**From: Phichit**

**Boyfriend issues? I'm all ears! Wanna meet at the campus library around 2 pm?**

**To: Phichit**

**Sounds good. See you there :)**

* * *

A quiet library was common, but an empty one was rare. Today was a rare day of emptiness. The lingering wafts of caffein were the only evidence that suggested other people had recently been in the area. Despite being a university student, Yuuri didn't depend on coffee a lot, disliking the bitter taste, but he enjoyed the strong aroma. 

A warm cup of coffee sat on the batter and aged study table, with Yuuri’s friend sitting by while scrolling through his phone, likely on Instagram. Yuuri took a seat in the spare chair beside his friend, dropping his bag under the table, the noise brought Phichit’s attention. Outside of the sharp aroma of coffee beans, the scent of aged books filled the air.

“Morning Yuuri,” he greeted, sipping his coffee, as he flipped open a saved section in his textbook. The amount of sticky notes and blotched ink were alarming, telling a story of overnight studying and tears.

“Good morning.” He replied. Yuuri glanced at the pages Phichit had bookmarked, he was almost scared to ask what Phichit needed help with. 

“So what are you struggling with?” It was only polite he help his friend first before he discussed his own problems. He did promise to help.

It started off on a concerning note, Phichit was struggling with the first week of work-- which was all review of high school calculus. Phichit picked up the equations quickly after explaining their purpose and going through practice questions. A little over an hour passed, Phichit managed to understand the basics, and seemed satisfied with Yuuri’s help.

Phichit sat back in his chair, he stretched his fingers and toes, finishing the last bit of his drink “God, I don't want to be an adult anymore, math drains my youth…”

Seeing his friend’s dramatic antics brought pleasant nostalgia of their first encounter in high school “Understand everything?” he asked to confirm that Phichit was going to be able to make it through the lessons on class for a while.

“Yep!” Phichit chirped, taking his empty cup and aimed with precision to throw his trash in the garbage can, fist pumping the air in victory when the cup landed. Yuuri’s friend then turned to him with a toothed smile “So what's been on your mind? Giving some advice is the least I can do to pay you back for helping me out.”

“Oh, well… Are you sure?”

“Yuuri. Please. I am here to help you out too. We’re friends.”

Yuuri rubbed his neck sheepishly and gave a uneasy sigh “It's...complicated? I sorta dug my own grave and I don't know how to fix it… I feel like the more I try, the more tangled it gets.” His words were perfectly explaining his troubles but failed to convey how deeply rooted his guilt simmered, rendering him unsure what his next move was. Victor and Yuuri were together now, both want to work to understand and accept each other, but things were still so convoluted.

“Guessing it's about your relationship with your boyfriend.” Phichit asked with calm accuracy, his words were smooth as they stepped right into the center of his troubles “Has he done something bad to you?” His tone remained light, but his words always ended with suspicion “If he's dangerous… You can tell me.”

Yuuri immediately shakes his head, feeling his neck crack from the sudden jerk “No!” He exclaimed “He's been really gentle and nice to me…” this time his voice adopted a softer volume after the librarian peeked her head over to shoot him a glare. “At first I wasn't sure about him, but I was just being stubborn with my comfort zone… Now, skin contact is weird… And I get the feeling it’s because he’s doing it for the right reasons.” 

It was terribly aggravating, after finally realizing that Victor wasn't a feral beast, Victor avoided intimacy while thinking it was for Yuuri’s benefit. If Victor hadn't been acting this way from a place of goodwill, Yuuri would probably shake Victor and ask why he was suddenly rejecting him. 

“... He could be concerned that you’ll reject him again… You are a bit skittish when it comes to new people, it took us a while to be friends after all..” Phichit began to close up his notes and books, stacked neatly into his bag before he turned back to Yuuri with his arms crossed “Dating is probably even more awkward, it is newer territory. Going along with what you’ve told me, he’s just worried about your level of comfort.”

“But I'm not some fragile piece of glass.” Yuuri groaned, rubbing his temple in exasperation “All of this is so ridiculous…”

Phichit observed Yuuri quietly, and he seemed to debate with the next piece of advice, as if he had two very different kinds in mind. Eventually, his eyes cleared with resolution, and a relaxed smile surface “How about you tell him how you feel? Cliche, I know… But communication is crucial, especially with romantic relationships.” 

Yuuri stared at Phichit blankly, the sound advice sinking in, making him realize how incredibly obvious the solution was. A hot sigh escaped him “But… It's so late now, I didn't speak up earlier and doing it now might make me seem like a hypocritical ass.”

“Yuuri, that’s why it’s even more important you tell him this. If something’s bothering you, tell him. Tell Victor.” Phichit exclaimed, jumping to his feet, pointing to the elevator “Go find your prince and woo him before it's too late!”

“Wait–Now?” Yuuri asked, baffled by the sudden shift in the situation. A heart to heart chat turned into an urgent conquest.

“Preferably! You only have so much time in your life, don't waste it being afraid all the time.” Phichit added, handing Yuuri his bag “Go you fool! Leave me to my studies!” he dramatized, giving him a thumbs up as Yuuri accepted his bag.

A chuckle rumbled, and Yuuri was out of his chair and running down to the exit, quietly apologizing to librarian for their disruptive behavior. The librarian, however didn't seem to mind this time, likely to have overheard their conversation due to their uncontrolled volume. Yuuri felt his heart pound to the idea of clearing out all of the problems their relationship had, promising the result of deepening trust and intimacy, that the idea of bothering the librarian didn’t concern him too much when other important issues were at hand.

One thought did linger though; Yuuri never told Phichit the name of the man he was dating.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So! If you're curious, I have paired Yurio with someone. And a certain someone that always likes to leave lovely comments, is a fan of this pairing. I have placed hints in the story as to who is Yuri's soulmate, I won't let this other pairing get too involved in this story (As I understand how some readers are not necessarily a fan of that) and will only hint at it and confirm it, but that will be it I promise.
> 
> As usual, comments are encouraged! Have a good morning, afternoon, or evening, wherever you are, and take care!
> 
> FANART  
> Chapter 3: By Saniika (The best beb who deserves love, sleep, and hugs): http://saniika.tumblr.com/post/157918681419/slumber-scene-from-the-alley-in-chapter-3-be


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